Hypothetical Confessions

So...i don't really know where to start, so i guess i'll start at the begining...This is all 'hypothetical' i remind you...

SO...i have the girl who is my best friend, now we've been friends for a very long time and she knows more about me than any other person on the planet, i'm not even kidding....except...there is this thing, that i've been withholding from her for a couple of months now, and i feel like i cant tell her, and for a number of reasons...so let me just explain this hypothetical situation.

So, there is this guy we are best friends with...all three of us...very good friends...but i met him through her...so, in a sense they were friends first...lets call him EDWARD...and edward, i found out, is so in love with my friend, lets call her...um...Tina...YEAH! her name is tina...ok so edward likes tina...ALOT...and she doesn't know this but edward told me on the phone not too long about...well he didn't flat out say it but he might as well have said he still loves her, as more than a friend. now my 'hypothetical' problem that i cannot tell her about is that...i've fallen in love with him, as more than a friend, and he is all i ever thinko about, yes there has been distractions, but mostly its about him...on those days when she see's me cries and thinks its because of my ex...what she doesn't know is that i get so upset because this hypothetical problem will never be resolved, you see, there are a whole list of things that could come from her knowing this...like if she found out, she's sure to be upset and try to tell me not to waste my time in liking him because he will never like me the same way back, i know she would be jelous if i dated him which would cause more problems...you see, i don't really like her boyfriend at the moment and i would give anything for her to dump him, but my fear of that is...her and edward would be dating...and even though i would try not to show it...i think it would kill me....i would literaly have to take myself out of the equation....i mean take myself out of the group because i wouldn't be able to handle being her friend if she constantly talked of edward the way she does her current boyfriend to me. it almost kills me to see that they are so close the way it is....and another problem...say edward did know i really liked him...whose to say that if tina and her man split up, he edward wouldn't just dump me and date her...now that would kill me...and it would suck if she tried to talk him out of dating me...haha...funny hypothetical story for you...so say these two girls put two little corked bottles on a chain for edward, and we said aloud what we had written on the notes we shoved inside of them...but hypothetically i sort of lied...i DID put down what i said aloud, but i added to the bottem 'WISH U WERE MINE'.....thank god we hypothetically super glued those bottles shut...and no one ever has to know that i really put that, not even edward....

there are so many more problems that would arrise if all this were true also, but i just don't feel like writting them anymore....all i can say is that, the day i met 'edward' was the day that all my pain from 'tony' went away. and i wish that were enough...enough to make her happy that i liked him, and enough to make him love me the way he loves her...but no matter what i do, nothing is ever enough, and there is always a price to pay. hypothetically, i had a dream the other night...i had a dream that i was at my wedding, and i was walking towards edward...i cried when i woke up because i want it to be true so bad that it hurts...

hopefully neither of them never find this...i've stopped writting on here for a few months because i had nothing to say and so i hope she doesn't just randomly check this...but i guess i'll know if she ever does find this because one of two things will happen...or possibly both....she will

1) bite my head off

or

2)never speak to me again

I'm thinking maybe i shouldn't post this...but i need to get it off my chest...it's wearing a hole through my body, not being able to tell anyone...but if 'Edward' does find this i have one thing to say to you...

'Edward'-
You really are the hazlenut to my caramel mochioto, I love you so much, and i hope that some day you will feel the same way for me, but until that day comes, IF that day ever comes, when you tell me you love me too, this is the one and only time those words will come from me to you as more than a friend...i know that this could either make things 200 percent better, or this could blow up in my face, so i'm letting the chips fall where they may and letting fate handle the rest.

-love pixie

Hell on earth

Well, considering my best friend isn't speaking to me over a stupid miss interpretation, I really have no other place to go, and there's a lot I need to get off my chest...

Ok so I've become friends with this girl named Jess and I've been staying there like the last 3 nights in a row, and I found out that she has a SUPER hot neighbor, and he's...basically everything I want right now...he's 20 years old he's sweet to me, he talks to me, he's funny and understanding, polite...there are just 2 teeny tiny problems...he's got a girlfriend...and a daughter...ok ok so those are biggies I know, I know that, but ok here's the story, so last night I was drinking, for the 3rd no, 4th night in a row, I wasn't drunk, just loose I guess you could call it...and so when Cory (that's his name by the way) came home me and Jess were so bored and I don't know how it came up by he decided to take us on a walk through the corn field, don't ask...anyway so like the whole time I was freaking out cuz I'm afraid of the dark AND getting lost in corn fields...not fun but ok even tho he wasn't halfing my hand or anything he walked right behind me the whole time and every time I started freaking out, he'd stop and yet to calm me down, lol and then we were doing cart wheels through the corn which was fun and then I asked him to take us for a ride in my car and so he did and he wanted to find a place to top it out so he took a bunch of back roads and before I know it, guess whose house we are in front of? Yeah, my friend Greg lol, I was like omg! That's gregs house! And then he was all singing Miranda Lambert with us (gunpowder and lead) lol he was doing the high pitch voice and everything!! Lol and then we got to talking about Angela (his girlfriend) and anthony (my ex) and it turns out that what anthony did to me, she's doing to him, he felt really bad about what anthony did to me...but anyway, I went to bed but Jess forgot to wake me up for school this morning and I woke up at 930 and class starts at 10 right? So I'm in this massively over sized sweat shirt, some sick faded plaid flanel pants that are way too long, my hair was not even brushed and I still had my glasses on and I fricken ran out side, almost ran into a car, tripped over my own feet and all of a sudden I hear "good morning Erin" and I froze...yeah, you guessed it, Cory was standing RIGHT there and he saw the whole thing and he has this incredibly irritating, incredibly adorable smirk thing he does, and yeah, he was doing it and stupid me got all twitter pated and gay and lost all train of thought and I fricken stood there and stared at him like an idiot, but I finally got all normal again and jumped into my car and spin out of the driveway and I looked back and yeah, pretty sure he was laughing...I feel like a total loser...

Ok and now for what else happened to me, so I think it was maybe the first week of school I saw this really hot guy at school with a silver grand am with green flames...and so last night I left Jess's number in a note on his car, and he called. Jess pretended like it was the wrong number but I texted him and it turns out his name is Ryan, and he also has a girlfriend, pretty sure I was about to give up when he said he was with his friend and his friend wanted to meet me, so me Jess and her room mate Krissy went to fazolies to meet them and then they found out we smoke and he was all like, never mind my friend left he doesn't like smokers...and so now is when I was going to give up but this guy kept texting me and being really nice but I said I had to go and then this morning I looked on my facebook and what do ya know? He added me! Lol it was sweet and then he started texting me again today! He keeps trying to set me up with his friends but I told him I just want a friend right now. But yeah before I told him who I was, he asked me if I was the girl driving that blue cavalier...I couldn't believe he remembered!! I was like omg!! Haha but anyway I need to get going and there's much much more to it than that, but I'm on my cell and my thumbs are cramping up so later!!

-rocket pixie
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

This is strictly HYPOTHETICAL, kind of...

So um, there's this girl I know, let's call her Erica...um she works at a hotel at night...lol anyway, so last night, she told me, there was this really smokin HOT 24 year old guy and he was totally hitting on her at work, anyway um, so he sat up with her all night and they ended up making out in the sauna, lol and stuff...

Anyway he was really sweet and said he'd like to see her again, so the next morning after her shift she went to his room and she fell asleep for a while listening to him whisper how beautiful she was and he played with her hair and rubbed her back and he's pretty much everything she was looking for, too bad he doesn't live near hear and they'll probably never see each other again... He was so god damn sweet...and really REALLY cute!!
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MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU (RE-POST)

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell You which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, hang up.

It doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. But Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons. You'll just mess it up.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

(Well, my job is done . Your turn)

Mental Hospital Menu

A loving message my sister sent me today, I love how she shows she cares...

Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

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From: "Megan"<mkanderson@myway.com>
Date: Thu, 14 Aug 2008 13:43:13 -0400 (EDT)
To: <sarahjean15@hotmail.com>; <r_k_laher@hotmail.com>; <deidreametz@hotmail.com>; <emgebert89@msn.com>; <cjaw5456@yahoo.com>; <DTrull@bcbe.org>
Subject: FW: Mental Hospital Menu

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Smoke break

Ok, I'm on a smoke break, just had a nice hour long nap at the front desk till some drunk guy woke me up. He was pretty nice though. He kept picking on me for sleeping on the job, haha! He was telling me how different it is up here, like how he can walk around town with a beer in his hand and cops just wave at him, lol, that's Wisconsin for you.

Well I'm going back to sleep for another half hour...later!

-the pixie
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

At work...

I'm at work right now, just got here so it's almost midnight, so I figured I'd do a little blogging. My day was kind of boring, woke up around 10 and sat on the computer for a while, writing. I started yet another story, it's untitled so far, but it's about a girl who sets out on a mission to find the perfect man based on a book she read. Sounds a lot like my life, cuz it is my life. Anyway, I just started it so I haven't got around to the actual story yet, just explaining things I guess, the current situation basically, and how she got this far. I went up to town and got my address changed finally, anthony called and said our cell bill is over due, cuz the nim wad never checks the mail at our old apartment, like I'm going to, I already moved out, it's his things that are still there...

He also informed me that our bill was 240, and then I went and figured out why! They have been charging is for 3 lines instead of 2 and he bought like 30 dollars worth of ring tones, what a butt! And HE chews MY butt for buying things on the internet, I didn't buy anything. My mom says I should cancel the phone and go back on dads so I don't have to deal with his shit anymore, that doesn't sound half bad right now. So school is less than a week away and I still didn't go school shopping. Great. I don't really have money to go school shopping...I was going to sell my washer and dryer, but no one needs them.

I guess I've drawled on about my stupid day for long enough.

-the pixie
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

Suggestion

So there's a book I read a few times, I own the series, and in the book one of the character's blogs a lot, and I actually found his "blog" on here. It's fake of course but it if pretty funny to read if you know what's going on... The addy is:

Maximumride.blogspot.com

Check it...

The pixie
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So many new things

Well if you haven't checked out my my space, you are clueless to the 3 new additions to my family whose names happen to be:

Nollie
Punky
Gizmo

They are the new kittens my mother and sister have me yesterday, the pictures are posted on my space, if you are curious and if you don't know my my space, maybe you shouldn't be looking in the first place.

Nollie is a tiny white kitty with gray splotches all over, my nephews have creatively named him cowy haha!


Punky is actually short for the name my mother have him, pumpkin, and he is bright orange.

Gizmo is an adorably unique kitty the is a mixture of odd colors, white orange and gray, so it makes for some interesting hues. I named him souly on the fact that I thought the name was cute. I fell in love with him the moment I saw him! He is so gental and loving, but I feel pity for him, he's not quite all there, a little slow I guess is the term. But I don't care, it makes him all the more adorable and sweet!

Another thing I've received today is my residential design kit, a lovely goody bag of everything you need for drafting! I love it! It's making me all the more excited and terrified of school, with the consideration that I've been out for a year and severely messed up in high school.

My computer is going to be shipped on the 18th, ironically the first day of school, and should arrive by the following weekend, so I'm stoked about that also. If you'd like to check it out, possibly getting one yourself, they are fairly cheap and are designed for media editorials. Kind of like the PC version of a Mac. Go to dell.com and check out the studio 15 in spring green! I guarantee it is the coolest computer you could possibly own with the least amount of cash! My payments are only $30 a month with no financing for the first 6 months! Sa-weet!

Well I suppose that is all I have to say for now!

-always the pixie
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

Sa-WEET!!!

ok, so i found out how to post new blogs from my phone, i'm pretty psyched about it i guess, it's taken me till now to figure that out haha...ok, well, i guess i'll be updating about my day a little more now that i can do that, and it only took seconds! i was on my dashboard, i pressed send, clicked view blog, and there it was, i was like holy man!! that's totally awesome! haha ok so i'm a dork, guess i'll be going now

Always the Pixie