So...i don't really know where to start, so i guess i'll start at the begining...This is all 'hypothetical' i remind you...
SO...i have the girl who is my best friend, now we've been friends for a very long time and she knows more about me than any other person on the planet, i'm not even kidding....except...there is this thing, that i've been withholding from her for a couple of months now, and i feel like i cant tell her, and for a number of reasons...so let me just explain this hypothetical situation.
So, there is this guy we are best friends with...all three of us...very good friends...but i met him through her...so, in a sense they were friends first...lets call him EDWARD...and edward, i found out, is so in love with my friend, lets call her...um...Tina...YEAH! her name is tina...ok so edward likes tina...ALOT...and she doesn't know this but edward told me on the phone not too long about...well he didn't flat out say it but he might as well have said he still loves her, as more than a friend. now my 'hypothetical' problem that i cannot tell her about is that...i've fallen in love with him, as more than a friend, and he is all i ever thinko about, yes there has been distractions, but mostly its about him...on those days when she see's me cries and thinks its because of my ex...what she doesn't know is that i get so upset because this hypothetical problem will never be resolved, you see, there are a whole list of things that could come from her knowing this...like if she found out, she's sure to be upset and try to tell me not to waste my time in liking him because he will never like me the same way back, i know she would be jelous if i dated him which would cause more problems...you see, i don't really like her boyfriend at the moment and i would give anything for her to dump him, but my fear of that is...her and edward would be dating...and even though i would try not to show it...i think it would kill me....i would literaly have to take myself out of the equation....i mean take myself out of the group because i wouldn't be able to handle being her friend if she constantly talked of edward the way she does her current boyfriend to me. it almost kills me to see that they are so close the way it is....and another problem...say edward did know i really liked him...whose to say that if tina and her man split up, he edward wouldn't just dump me and date her...now that would kill me...and it would suck if she tried to talk him out of dating me...haha...funny hypothetical story for you...so say these two girls put two little corked bottles on a chain for edward, and we said aloud what we had written on the notes we shoved inside of them...but hypothetically i sort of lied...i DID put down what i said aloud, but i added to the bottem 'WISH U WERE MINE'.....thank god we hypothetically super glued those bottles shut...and no one ever has to know that i really put that, not even edward....
there are so many more problems that would arrise if all this were true also, but i just don't feel like writting them anymore....all i can say is that, the day i met 'edward' was the day that all my pain from 'tony' went away. and i wish that were enough...enough to make her happy that i liked him, and enough to make him love me the way he loves her...but no matter what i do, nothing is ever enough, and there is always a price to pay. hypothetically, i had a dream the other night...i had a dream that i was at my wedding, and i was walking towards edward...i cried when i woke up because i want it to be true so bad that it hurts...
hopefully neither of them never find this...i've stopped writting on here for a few months because i had nothing to say and so i hope she doesn't just randomly check this...but i guess i'll know if she ever does find this because one of two things will happen...or possibly both....she will
1) bite my head off
or
2)never speak to me again
I'm thinking maybe i shouldn't post this...but i need to get it off my chest...it's wearing a hole through my body, not being able to tell anyone...but if 'Edward' does find this i have one thing to say to you...
'Edward'-
You really are the hazlenut to my caramel mochioto, I love you so much, and i hope that some day you will feel the same way for me, but until that day comes, IF that day ever comes, when you tell me you love me too, this is the one and only time those words will come from me to you as more than a friend...i know that this could either make things 200 percent better, or this could blow up in my face, so i'm letting the chips fall where they may and letting fate handle the rest.
-love pixie
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Hell on earth
Well, considering my best friend isn't speaking to me over a stupid miss interpretation, I really have no other place to go, and there's a lot I need to get off my chest...
Ok so I've become friends with this girl named Jess and I've been staying there like the last 3 nights in a row, and I found out that she has a SUPER hot neighbor, and he's...basically everything I want right now...he's 20 years old he's sweet to me, he talks to me, he's funny and understanding, polite...there are just 2 teeny tiny problems...he's got a girlfriend...and a daughter...ok ok so those are biggies I know, I know that, but ok here's the story, so last night I was drinking, for the 3rd no, 4th night in a row, I wasn't drunk, just loose I guess you could call it...and so when Cory (that's his name by the way) came home me and Jess were so bored and I don't know how it came up by he decided to take us on a walk through the corn field, don't ask...anyway so like the whole time I was freaking out cuz I'm afraid of the dark AND getting lost in corn fields...not fun but ok even tho he wasn't halfing my hand or anything he walked right behind me the whole time and every time I started freaking out, he'd stop and yet to calm me down, lol and then we were doing cart wheels through the corn which was fun and then I asked him to take us for a ride in my car and so he did and he wanted to find a place to top it out so he took a bunch of back roads and before I know it, guess whose house we are in front of? Yeah, my friend Greg lol, I was like omg! That's gregs house! And then he was all singing Miranda Lambert with us (gunpowder and lead) lol he was doing the high pitch voice and everything!! Lol and then we got to talking about Angela (his girlfriend) and anthony (my ex) and it turns out that what anthony did to me, she's doing to him, he felt really bad about what anthony did to me...but anyway, I went to bed but Jess forgot to wake me up for school this morning and I woke up at 930 and class starts at 10 right? So I'm in this massively over sized sweat shirt, some sick faded plaid flanel pants that are way too long, my hair was not even brushed and I still had my glasses on and I fricken ran out side, almost ran into a car, tripped over my own feet and all of a sudden I hear "good morning Erin" and I froze...yeah, you guessed it, Cory was standing RIGHT there and he saw the whole thing and he has this incredibly irritating, incredibly adorable smirk thing he does, and yeah, he was doing it and stupid me got all twitter pated and gay and lost all train of thought and I fricken stood there and stared at him like an idiot, but I finally got all normal again and jumped into my car and spin out of the driveway and I looked back and yeah, pretty sure he was laughing...I feel like a total loser...
Ok and now for what else happened to me, so I think it was maybe the first week of school I saw this really hot guy at school with a silver grand am with green flames...and so last night I left Jess's number in a note on his car, and he called. Jess pretended like it was the wrong number but I texted him and it turns out his name is Ryan, and he also has a girlfriend, pretty sure I was about to give up when he said he was with his friend and his friend wanted to meet me, so me Jess and her room mate Krissy went to fazolies to meet them and then they found out we smoke and he was all like, never mind my friend left he doesn't like smokers...and so now is when I was going to give up but this guy kept texting me and being really nice but I said I had to go and then this morning I looked on my facebook and what do ya know? He added me! Lol it was sweet and then he started texting me again today! He keeps trying to set me up with his friends but I told him I just want a friend right now. But yeah before I told him who I was, he asked me if I was the girl driving that blue cavalier...I couldn't believe he remembered!! I was like omg!! Haha but anyway I need to get going and there's much much more to it than that, but I'm on my cell and my thumbs are cramping up so later!!
-rocket pixie
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel
Sunday, August 17, 2008
This is strictly HYPOTHETICAL, kind of...
So um, there's this girl I know, let's call her Erica...um she works at a hotel at night...lol anyway, so last night, she told me, there was this really smokin HOT 24 year old guy and he was totally hitting on her at work, anyway um, so he sat up with her all night and they ended up making out in the sauna, lol and stuff...
Anyway he was really sweet and said he'd like to see her again, so the next morning after her shift she went to his room and she fell asleep for a while listening to him whisper how beautiful she was and he played with her hair and rubbed her back and he's pretty much everything she was looking for, too bad he doesn't live near hear and they'll probably never see each other again... He was so god damn sweet...and really REALLY cute!!
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel
Saturday, August 16, 2008
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU (RE-POST)
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell You which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, hang up.
It doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. But Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons. You'll just mess it up.
This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.
(Well, my job is done . Your turn)
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell You which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, hang up.
It doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. But Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons. You'll just mess it up.
This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.
(Well, my job is done . Your turn)
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Mental Hospital Menu
A loving message my sister sent me today, I love how she shows she cares...
From: "Megan"<mkanderson@myway.com>
Date: Thu, 14 Aug 2008 13:43:13 -0400 (EDT)
To: <sarahjean15@hotmail.com>; <r_k_laher@hotmail.com>; <deidreametz@hotmail.com>; <emgebert89@msn.com>; <cjaw5456@yahoo.com>; <DTrull@bcbe.org>
Subject: FW: Mental Hospital Menu
No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.
Make My Way your home on the Web - http://www.myway.com
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel
From: "Megan"<mkanderson@myway.com>
Date: Thu, 14 Aug 2008 13:43:13 -0400 (EDT)
To: <sarahjean15@hotmail.com>; <r_k_laher@hotmail.com>; <deidreametz@hotmail.com>; <emgebert89@msn.com>; <cjaw5456@yahoo.com>; <DTrull@bcbe.org>
Subject: FW: Mental Hospital Menu
No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.
Make My Way your home on the Web - http://www.myway.com
Smoke break
Ok, I'm on a smoke break, just had a nice hour long nap at the front desk till some drunk guy woke me up. He was pretty nice though. He kept picking on me for sleeping on the job, haha! He was telling me how different it is up here, like how he can walk around town with a beer in his hand and cops just wave at him, lol, that's Wisconsin for you.
Well I'm going back to sleep for another half hour...later!
-the pixie
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
At work...
I'm at work right now, just got here so it's almost midnight, so I figured I'd do a little blogging. My day was kind of boring, woke up around 10 and sat on the computer for a while, writing. I started yet another story, it's untitled so far, but it's about a girl who sets out on a mission to find the perfect man based on a book she read. Sounds a lot like my life, cuz it is my life. Anyway, I just started it so I haven't got around to the actual story yet, just explaining things I guess, the current situation basically, and how she got this far. I went up to town and got my address changed finally, anthony called and said our cell bill is over due, cuz the nim wad never checks the mail at our old apartment, like I'm going to, I already moved out, it's his things that are still there...
He also informed me that our bill was 240, and then I went and figured out why! They have been charging is for 3 lines instead of 2 and he bought like 30 dollars worth of ring tones, what a butt! And HE chews MY butt for buying things on the internet, I didn't buy anything. My mom says I should cancel the phone and go back on dads so I don't have to deal with his shit anymore, that doesn't sound half bad right now. So school is less than a week away and I still didn't go school shopping. Great. I don't really have money to go school shopping...I was going to sell my washer and dryer, but no one needs them.
I guess I've drawled on about my stupid day for long enough.
-the pixie
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel
He also informed me that our bill was 240, and then I went and figured out why! They have been charging is for 3 lines instead of 2 and he bought like 30 dollars worth of ring tones, what a butt! And HE chews MY butt for buying things on the internet, I didn't buy anything. My mom says I should cancel the phone and go back on dads so I don't have to deal with his shit anymore, that doesn't sound half bad right now. So school is less than a week away and I still didn't go school shopping. Great. I don't really have money to go school shopping...I was going to sell my washer and dryer, but no one needs them.
I guess I've drawled on about my stupid day for long enough.
-the pixie
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel
Monday, August 11, 2008
Suggestion
So there's a book I read a few times, I own the series, and in the book one of the character's blogs a lot, and I actually found his "blog" on here. It's fake of course but it if pretty funny to read if you know what's going on... The addy is:
Check it...
The pixie
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel
So many new things
Well if you haven't checked out my my space, you are clueless to the 3 new additions to my family whose names happen to be:
Nollie
Punky
Gizmo
They are the new kittens my mother and sister have me yesterday, the pictures are posted on my space, if you are curious and if you don't know my my space, maybe you shouldn't be looking in the first place.
Nollie is a tiny white kitty with gray splotches all over, my nephews have creatively named him cowy haha!
Punky is actually short for the name my mother have him, pumpkin, and he is bright orange.
Gizmo is an adorably unique kitty the is a mixture of odd colors, white orange and gray, so it makes for some interesting hues. I named him souly on the fact that I thought the name was cute. I fell in love with him the moment I saw him! He is so gental and loving, but I feel pity for him, he's not quite all there, a little slow I guess is the term. But I don't care, it makes him all the more adorable and sweet!
Another thing I've received today is my residential design kit, a lovely goody bag of everything you need for drafting! I love it! It's making me all the more excited and terrified of school, with the consideration that I've been out for a year and severely messed up in high school.
My computer is going to be shipped on the 18th, ironically the first day of school, and should arrive by the following weekend, so I'm stoked about that also. If you'd like to check it out, possibly getting one yourself, they are fairly cheap and are designed for media editorials. Kind of like the PC version of a Mac. Go to dell.com and check out the studio 15 in spring green! I guarantee it is the coolest computer you could possibly own with the least amount of cash! My payments are only $30 a month with no financing for the first 6 months! Sa-weet!
Well I suppose that is all I have to say for now!
-always the pixie
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel
Nollie
Punky
Gizmo
They are the new kittens my mother and sister have me yesterday, the pictures are posted on my space, if you are curious and if you don't know my my space, maybe you shouldn't be looking in the first place.
Nollie is a tiny white kitty with gray splotches all over, my nephews have creatively named him cowy haha!
Punky is actually short for the name my mother have him, pumpkin, and he is bright orange.
Gizmo is an adorably unique kitty the is a mixture of odd colors, white orange and gray, so it makes for some interesting hues. I named him souly on the fact that I thought the name was cute. I fell in love with him the moment I saw him! He is so gental and loving, but I feel pity for him, he's not quite all there, a little slow I guess is the term. But I don't care, it makes him all the more adorable and sweet!
Another thing I've received today is my residential design kit, a lovely goody bag of everything you need for drafting! I love it! It's making me all the more excited and terrified of school, with the consideration that I've been out for a year and severely messed up in high school.
My computer is going to be shipped on the 18th, ironically the first day of school, and should arrive by the following weekend, so I'm stoked about that also. If you'd like to check it out, possibly getting one yourself, they are fairly cheap and are designed for media editorials. Kind of like the PC version of a Mac. Go to dell.com and check out the studio 15 in spring green! I guarantee it is the coolest computer you could possibly own with the least amount of cash! My payments are only $30 a month with no financing for the first 6 months! Sa-weet!
Well I suppose that is all I have to say for now!
-always the pixie
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel
Sa-WEET!!!
ok, so i found out how to post new blogs from my phone, i'm pretty psyched about it i guess, it's taken me till now to figure that out haha...ok, well, i guess i'll be updating about my day a little more now that i can do that, and it only took seconds! i was on my dashboard, i pressed send, clicked view blog, and there it was, i was like holy man!! that's totally awesome! haha ok so i'm a dork, guess i'll be going now
Always the Pixie
Always the Pixie
Saturday, August 9, 2008
SORRY
i got a little out of control back there, extreme depression is setting in about the break-up, i'm trying to fight it, but forgive me if i slip up every once and a while, i'm not perfect
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Explanation...
IF YOU HAD NOT READ MY LAST POST, 'ALICE IN CHAINS' THEN PLEASE DO SO BEFORE YOU READ THIS POST AS THEY COINCIDE WITH EACHOTHER, AND THIS POST WILL MAKE NO SENSE IF YOU READ IT FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alice in Chains is the beginning of a dreadful story obviously written about a girl named alice. her story starts with the ending of her own life. some people may request an explanation as to how i came up with it and WHY i'm writing this morbid story. it's how i feel. i feel like if i were to trade lives with thsi girl, i'd rather take it then be where i am now. i had friends, and i gave them up, or lost them. i had a lover (almost husband) who meant the world to me and i lost him too. every thing that has ever mattered to me in life is gone and i can't seem to get it back and so i believe, for a girl to have never experienced those feelings, wouldn't know what kind of loss it really is and this physical pain she feels would be more managable than my mental/emotional pain. i was resently suicidal. i'll admitt it. but i've vowed to my ex-lover and a dear (only) friend who may possibly be the only one who will read this, that i would not do it again, trust me, i haven't. but i've held the blade there, i've scraped it lightly on my skin and felt the addiction, the pull of pure want to just dig it into my body as hard as i can. i've felt this, only seconds before i'm writing this explanation i've felt it, i still feel it and i don't think it will ever go away. i keep looking at that razor blade and will it to make the gash, i want it too, but that of course would be selfish. why take my own life when you and my mother want me to be here. of course i love the both of you dearly but i hate this life and i just thought i'd let you know what a waste i think it truly is. i serve no purpose, just as alli serves no purpose. the only reason i'm living is for others to hurt me and i hate it. i've been hiding this since the 18th when it all happened. i've been blocking it away and not showing anything out of hopes that you'd let it go, but i can't let it go and i realy realy truly hate myself right now, and all i've wanted for the past 3 months is for me to not be here anymore, to just be in an eternaly dark place where no one can hurt me anymore, and so i'll create my own illusion and i'll find my dark place inside my mind and so forgive me if i'm not the same person i was yesterday or last week or a year ago. i never really was that person. my life has always been this. and i'm sorry it has to be this way but it's fate and that's apparently all i'm here for, all i'm good for, so one last time, i'm sorry if when we meet next, i'm not that fake girl anymore that hides her tears and fakes a smile and pretends to be alright because i'm not, i'm just a worthless girl who is slowly trapping herself inside her dark place in her mind untill the real thing comes for her and makes her forever greatful for death.
Alice in Chains is the beginning of a dreadful story obviously written about a girl named alice. her story starts with the ending of her own life. some people may request an explanation as to how i came up with it and WHY i'm writing this morbid story. it's how i feel. i feel like if i were to trade lives with thsi girl, i'd rather take it then be where i am now. i had friends, and i gave them up, or lost them. i had a lover (almost husband) who meant the world to me and i lost him too. every thing that has ever mattered to me in life is gone and i can't seem to get it back and so i believe, for a girl to have never experienced those feelings, wouldn't know what kind of loss it really is and this physical pain she feels would be more managable than my mental/emotional pain. i was resently suicidal. i'll admitt it. but i've vowed to my ex-lover and a dear (only) friend who may possibly be the only one who will read this, that i would not do it again, trust me, i haven't. but i've held the blade there, i've scraped it lightly on my skin and felt the addiction, the pull of pure want to just dig it into my body as hard as i can. i've felt this, only seconds before i'm writing this explanation i've felt it, i still feel it and i don't think it will ever go away. i keep looking at that razor blade and will it to make the gash, i want it too, but that of course would be selfish. why take my own life when you and my mother want me to be here. of course i love the both of you dearly but i hate this life and i just thought i'd let you know what a waste i think it truly is. i serve no purpose, just as alli serves no purpose. the only reason i'm living is for others to hurt me and i hate it. i've been hiding this since the 18th when it all happened. i've been blocking it away and not showing anything out of hopes that you'd let it go, but i can't let it go and i realy realy truly hate myself right now, and all i've wanted for the past 3 months is for me to not be here anymore, to just be in an eternaly dark place where no one can hurt me anymore, and so i'll create my own illusion and i'll find my dark place inside my mind and so forgive me if i'm not the same person i was yesterday or last week or a year ago. i never really was that person. my life has always been this. and i'm sorry it has to be this way but it's fate and that's apparently all i'm here for, all i'm good for, so one last time, i'm sorry if when we meet next, i'm not that fake girl anymore that hides her tears and fakes a smile and pretends to be alright because i'm not, i'm just a worthless girl who is slowly trapping herself inside her dark place in her mind untill the real thing comes for her and makes her forever greatful for death.
Alice in Chains
there's a point in everyone's life when they come to terms with some form, a sense of reality. it just clicks, and you get it, like a light turning on in an eternally dark room. i think that point, for me, is now. i've come to terms with reality, my reality, my fate. maybe it was the chains and shackles and the ropes, binding me here for the past 2 months. the painful cramping of a starved stomach, the ichyness of a dry scratchy throat yerning for liquid, it all fits. this is how i will die. in this miserable state, i. will. die. and i'm ok with that, i mean i could have used some for of preperation, calling my parents for one because god knows they are more than likely the only ones that are even faintly worried about me at this point. to others i'm just a lost memory, already forgotten. so to who would it matter if my lifeless form showed up sometime in the near or late future? no one would care. at least that's what i think. no one cared before why should they care now. life my existance ment something to them. sure some might pretend to care, mourn and be sad, but it's just an act, it wont last long. maybe here and there if my name ever came up, which i'm sure it wont, they would express some form of sorrow and pity. they'd say 'poor alli, what a terrible loss' like it mattered to them if i would have lived or died. i think that's all there is in the pointless life. to pretend that you care. you pretend to life people and they serve there perpose, weather it be as a friend, a lover, a husband; but that's it, they serve there perpose to fill the tiny holes in your life and then you die, or they die and it's all over, the purpose is fulfilled, and the act is over. my act is comeing to a close as well and i believe that's where my whole story all begins.
so i guess to catch you up on things i could tell you a little about my situation, pure stupidity on my part i guess. 19 and in college, i needed to catch up on homework. unlike the previous rant of random people, there is no one in my life to serve any of those purposes. i never had friends or lovers and obviously not a husband, that requires dating first and i've never really gotten around to that. of course i stayed late in the library to study but with my lack of sleep, one of the many perks of being an insomniac, and a full day of work and school behind me, somewhere along the line i slipped into a harsh form of unconsiousness. at first i thought it merely a dream but when i awoke, i was in the same place my dream had left off. in my dream a band of three faceless men and scooped me up. one, the leader i suppose, was the one who had found me, he mumbled to the others to keep quiet and follow his command. the second was giddy what with his normal male hormones, was looking to fulfill one particular need, and the third had been whispering harshly to let me be. that voice was very familiar and i remember it well, i just never pin pointed where it came from. i assume the third man was cut from the band because i never saw him after that. towards the end of my dream, after having there way with me and beating me into a deeper unconsiousness, i watched from the outside, a corner of the room as they hauled me up a steep flight of stairs and left me on the floor to die. i should have known better than to think i would get out of this so easily because they tied my hands to an iron bed frame that lay upside down and without a mattress on the raw wooden surface of this ironicly morbid attick. and this brings us up to speed, this is where i've been, in this exact spot, since that dreadfull morning i awoke. i've begged and pleaded with the two men to let me go, i've sworn to secrecy of the occurences here and i've been beaten every single time i opened my mouth, so i learned not to speak. i've been silenced for a month and a half now. i've even begun to wonder if my voice would still work these days, but i don't dare and try it out. the walls and the floors and the ceilings here are paper thin and i can here every word they say and so it gives me good reason not to try and test out my lost voice. although harsh and hurtful and very very mean, these men have been kinder than need be. once a week they bring me a bottle of water and sandwich to keep me somewhat nurished, of course i know better. it's more like malnutrition, and you'd think it'd be easier for them to just LET me die, but for some unknown reason they dont and they make me live, forcing me to serve some unknown purpose in their retched lives.
so i guess to catch you up on things i could tell you a little about my situation, pure stupidity on my part i guess. 19 and in college, i needed to catch up on homework. unlike the previous rant of random people, there is no one in my life to serve any of those purposes. i never had friends or lovers and obviously not a husband, that requires dating first and i've never really gotten around to that. of course i stayed late in the library to study but with my lack of sleep, one of the many perks of being an insomniac, and a full day of work and school behind me, somewhere along the line i slipped into a harsh form of unconsiousness. at first i thought it merely a dream but when i awoke, i was in the same place my dream had left off. in my dream a band of three faceless men and scooped me up. one, the leader i suppose, was the one who had found me, he mumbled to the others to keep quiet and follow his command. the second was giddy what with his normal male hormones, was looking to fulfill one particular need, and the third had been whispering harshly to let me be. that voice was very familiar and i remember it well, i just never pin pointed where it came from. i assume the third man was cut from the band because i never saw him after that. towards the end of my dream, after having there way with me and beating me into a deeper unconsiousness, i watched from the outside, a corner of the room as they hauled me up a steep flight of stairs and left me on the floor to die. i should have known better than to think i would get out of this so easily because they tied my hands to an iron bed frame that lay upside down and without a mattress on the raw wooden surface of this ironicly morbid attick. and this brings us up to speed, this is where i've been, in this exact spot, since that dreadfull morning i awoke. i've begged and pleaded with the two men to let me go, i've sworn to secrecy of the occurences here and i've been beaten every single time i opened my mouth, so i learned not to speak. i've been silenced for a month and a half now. i've even begun to wonder if my voice would still work these days, but i don't dare and try it out. the walls and the floors and the ceilings here are paper thin and i can here every word they say and so it gives me good reason not to try and test out my lost voice. although harsh and hurtful and very very mean, these men have been kinder than need be. once a week they bring me a bottle of water and sandwich to keep me somewhat nurished, of course i know better. it's more like malnutrition, and you'd think it'd be easier for them to just LET me die, but for some unknown reason they dont and they make me live, forcing me to serve some unknown purpose in their retched lives.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
just a song i wrote...
ok, so i went and talked with my ex and hung out with him for a little while today, and while i was on my way home, 4 words ran through my head and then kept repeating, so when i got home, i wrote this song, bet you can tell which 4 words ran through my head...
-Limitations Of a Boy-
Live for the moment,
take a chance.
Surrender your heart,
to have it bashed.
Fall in love and
fall behind.
pick the scab and
scar your life.
Fight this battle,
fix my scars.
Stand together,
hey! lets start!
Lie.
Cheat.
Take.
Break.
Lie to me,
it's an art.
Cheat on me,
you play that part.
Take whats mine and
break my heart.
Oh, the limitations of a boy.
Out of sight,
out of mind.
Cry at night,
it reminds.
Kick and scream,
beg and plead.
Waste of time,
cause it still bleeds.
Fight this battle,
one last time.
Stand to you,
and speak my mind.
Lie.
Cheat.
Take.
Break.
Lie to me,
it's an art.
Cheat on me,
you play that part.
Take whats mine and
break my heart.
Oh, the limitations of a boy.
I still remember,
everything you siad.
I will remember,
Everything you did. (to me)
Lie to me, (lie)
it's an art.Cheat on me, (cheat)
you play that that part.
Take whats mine.(take and break)
Break my heart.
Oh, lie to me, (lie)
it's an art.
You can cheat on me, (cheat)
you play that that part.
You took what was mine (take and break)
You broke my heart.
Oh, the limitations of a boy.
The limitations of a boy.
-Limitations Of a Boy-
Live for the moment,
take a chance.
Surrender your heart,
to have it bashed.
Fall in love and
fall behind.
pick the scab and
scar your life.
Fight this battle,
fix my scars.
Stand together,
hey! lets start!
Lie.
Cheat.
Take.
Break.
Lie to me,
it's an art.
Cheat on me,
you play that part.
Take whats mine and
break my heart.
Oh, the limitations of a boy.
Out of sight,
out of mind.
Cry at night,
it reminds.
Kick and scream,
beg and plead.
Waste of time,
cause it still bleeds.
Fight this battle,
one last time.
Stand to you,
and speak my mind.
Lie.
Cheat.
Take.
Break.
Lie to me,
it's an art.
Cheat on me,
you play that part.
Take whats mine and
break my heart.
Oh, the limitations of a boy.
I still remember,
everything you siad.
I will remember,
Everything you did. (to me)
Lie to me, (lie)
it's an art.Cheat on me, (cheat)
you play that that part.
Take whats mine.(take and break)
Break my heart.
Oh, lie to me, (lie)
it's an art.
You can cheat on me, (cheat)
you play that that part.
You took what was mine (take and break)
You broke my heart.
Oh, the limitations of a boy.
The limitations of a boy.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
READ THIS TANYA!!!!
hey girly, i don't know if you already checked this or not, but i realized after i talked to you last night that my nephew's crib is up in the computer room, so i couldn't write anymore last night, but i will tell you about my night...well, i was studying for physics and i got about 3 chapters done when i heard Easton crying or whatever and so i finally glanced at the clock, and holy shitballs, it was already 2....so i studied for a little longer cuz i wanted to finish that chapter, but low and behold, gary calls me around 230 and says, "hey i'm drunk, the cops are here, tyler and wade left and i can't find anthony will you come pick me up?" and i was like yeah so i called ty and got the directions....so on my way to SPIRIT!!! i saw like a bazillion deer and i found the place. on the way, like a mile away from the place i found Cody Kay and 2 of his friends cuz they had gotten lost and went the wrong way and somehow ended up ten miles from the place on an ATV trail and he got his SUBURBAN stuck SIDEWAYS in this road and they had been walking since like...hours ago, so, since i still didn't empty my car from when i moved (which is what i'm working on after i'm done writing this...) the girl was laying across my dash, his friend was in the passenger seat (he was i big kid) and Cody was sharing my seat and the center counsel....the kid in the passenger seat had to HOLD MY DOOR so it wouldn't fly open since they couldn't shut it all the way, and then about 5 seconds later we passed a cop...great...so finally we get to where the cars are all lined up on this road that was barely wide enough to fit my car on it made of QUICKSAND, and we didn't see the first driveway so we found the closest driveway and started walking down it. suddenly my foot squished in something (i remind you we are walking through a really creepy, dark, scary FOREST) on the ground and i thought it was mud but i shined my phone down and i stepped in a puddle of BLOOD!!! and then i looked up and there was this really creepy old rickety cabin so we like fricken ran like hell back to the road cuz we heard something really big walking in the forest. then we found the right driveway and i found gary and i found anythony's car but no anthony so we left anyway even though we were like out in a field calling his name and stuff and he still didn't come out, and then when i got back i went with my dad down to marshfield to drop a load and we sat and bullshitted in the scale shack for a while and then on the way back my dad told me how we are gunna be cannoeing(sp?) and they have a swimming pool and everything at these people's house that we are going to tonight and that him and mom might even come up for a while, and then we got home and now i'm writing to tell you why i didn't add to the story and i ended up babbling uncontrolably about the screwed up night i had...oh and by the way we found out anthony was sleeping in the cabin the whole time, he called while i was in marshfield, and by the way, if you were texting me, my phone has been dead all morning and i just plugged it in so i WILL get back to you as soon as it is charged...well i better go and clean my car so i can sleep at least a little bit today, LOVE YOU!!! by the way, love the Don't Jump and Ready, Set, Go song you told me to download, but the other two wouldn't download, well, see you!!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
THINGS WITH WINGS (FOR TANYA ONLY!!)
Alternate Beginning
One: The End of the Beginning
I sat there in, well; I didn’t really quite understand what I was feeling. It wasn’t shock, I was sure of that. I had seen this coming for a while now. I guess I was in a more, unbelieving state as I sat there on my bed.
I attempted to avert my gaze, get my mind off the subject. My eyes followed the golden vines on my bright pink/orange wallpaper. When that failed, I began to trace the cracks in the ceiling.
“I guess I just can’t believe you put up with my crap for this long Nik, you’re better than that, better than me.” He stated simply. It had been one hell of an eight months—my longest relationship—and on the day of the anniversary, this is where I sat, allowing my heart be shattered into pieces. I stared, astonished at him.
“I never noticed how hard you were trying, how badly you wanted this to work, and so this is my fault, because I just went along with it. It’s not that I didn’t care, I just didn’t see it going anywhere.” He attempted to clarify his rationing. I was still trying to block him out. Today of all days my selective hearing failed me. And so I nodded back to him, speechless; fearing if I opened my mouth, it would also open my blockade of tear flow.
“I guess I just wish you wouldn’t hate me,” He continued. Oh how I wished he would shut up and disappear.
I almost regretted my threat from the last fight we had. I thought back to it. We had gotten in a fight because he took my best friend shopping, and I didn’t trust him. When it was all done and said, I warned him that if he ever tried to break up with me again, that would be the last time because I didn’t want to try anymore. He had tried to break things off a time or two before, but somehow (most likely my tears), I got to him and he’d take it back. I’m sure this is the reason for my tear blockade this time, when I said ‘last time’, I meant it, not even my tears were going to try and talk him out of it this time.
“I don’t hate you.” I whispered truthfully. I could feel it coming; if he didn’t leave now my tears would fail me.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you around then.” He finalized quietly as he got up off my bed.
I watched him go, from my second story window. His head ducked as he slowly made his way to the car. Stupid car; I would never be able to look at an ’89 Camero the same, or any Camero for that matter.
It rumbled away and I felt the wave of pain I’d held back escape; it sent me sprawling across the floor of my room like a dead person. That’s what I felt like; a dead person. I couldn’t believe only months ago he had asked me to marry him when I was finished with college. Although, the thought of college made me chuckle, Maybe I should focus on graduating high school first…
Two: Wasting Time
The pain of losing Cody was starting to dwindle within a matter of weeks. Though I still thought of him frequently, the pain didn’t bother me so much. Of coarse I still loved him with my whole heart, but the fact I tried to etch into my mind was that I didn’t want somebody who didn’t want me.
I dwelled on this topic daily, mostly in the morning while I readied myself for school alone.
My mother worked a first shift factory job in the neighboring town of Medford, and my dad owned a trucking company; he left early and came home late.
I found myself heading to school early, attempting to clear my mind. It didn’t really help though. This car alone was enough to spark my memories of him. We took my little blue cavalier everywhere.
To put it shortly, his car was a pile. A tiny green Saturn that could pass for my car’s grandfather; it was exactly 10 years older.
I made it to school in 7 minutes; record timing in my book. The lot was still empty, and I had nearly an hour before school started, the doors weren’t even unlocked yet, so I ventured back to my car. Well this sucks. I put my seat back and turned my car on enough to hear the radio before digging through my bag. My sketchbook, obviously worn, was smashed between my History and my Botany books.
I began analyzing a sketch I had been working on lately, scrutinizing everything about it. I was nearly temped to just rip it out and throw it out the window. I fought against it and threw the book back in my bag before resting my head against the head rest. Glancing at the clock, I realized only two minutes had passed and I needed something a little more constructive to do. My unfinished history homework would have been a go, and my grade was in the lower 70’s for that class, but history bored me more than sitting here, so I decided against that.
I glanced at the clock again; this really wasn’t helping considering it still read the same time as before.
Aggravated, I dug out my cell. Hopefully Tess would be up, which was doubtful.
Tess had been my friend since I transferred here in the sixth grade. I lived in Stetsonville, I tiny tiny town with a population that was so small it should have been listed as unincorporated. In fact it was so small that the school there only went to fifth grade. My class there consisted of maybe 20 kids, where as my class now held over 200 people; quite a jump. In Stetsonville, I think I was friends with just about everyone in my class. In Medford, I couldn’t even remember all of their names, and I’d been with them for five years.
Once I hit sixth grade, we no longer had the same teacher all day long, we began switching teachers for each class, which was a scary transition for me, especially since the kids I had known for the first 6 years of my schooling weren’t in any of my classes; Tess was in every single one. She was also the first to talk to me. I remember that day like it happened last week.
I walked into my first class of the day, shaking at the knees because I was a very shy, and socially challenged person; making new friends was difficult for me.
What made things worse was that in this class I wasn’t allowed to go un-noticed in the back of the class, no of coarse not. Teacher had put us in (and our desks) in clusters of 4 around the class room; two desks sitting side by side, facing two identical desks. Tess sat next to me and our desks were paired with a set of twin boys, even scarier, for me. Along with my social disorder, boys frightened me in a fashion so horrid that the first week there I ran to the bathroom, nauseated, right after class. Tess was very easy going though and never really judged me, but she was very pretty and always surrounded by boys. Even at the early age of 11 she was smokin’ to all the little 11 year old boys. She had beautiful, silky blonde hair and I remember in the eighth grade I made my aunt bleach my hair to match it. The bleach only fried my hair and I was nicknamed frizzy for the rest of the year. She was short though, only about 5’1, but she made up for it with her outgoing and boisterous personality.
“Don’t you ever talk?” were the first words out her mouth. I had nodded and smiled shyly, and the boys across from us gave each other a devious smirk.
That first very long semester was a rough one, but our seats were permanently set and we hadn’t moved, which led to me eventually having to speak to her; leading me to like her. I even began sitting with her at lunch (I won’t go into the excruciating details of where I sat before, but in short; she saved me). I even began to talk to the ridiculously irritating twins that sat with us, though that was somewhat forced on my by Mrs. Henkel.
I finally gave my reminiscing a rest as I pulled into her driveway. The clock had barely moved and I was beginning to wonder if it was broken. Surprisingly, she was awake, sitting in her usual chair on the front porch with her steaming cup of coffee and a cigarette. Yes, the damned sixteen year old smoked, like a chimney.
I have to admit she was a very bad influence, as I had begun to smoke in times of panic. She looked like an irritable bull at the moment so I kept the conversation quiet until she spoke first.
To her, it wasn’t odd to see me ready at 7 in the morning, I usually woke fairly early, where as she was the type to roll out of bed somewhere around 8, sometimes later.
“My mom is making me take Tommy to school.” She finally spoke in a dark voice, as if she was telling me a plot to kill somebody. Tommy was her very irritating, very needy, but generally tolerable little brother. He was 4 years younger than us but always wanted to ‘hang out’ with us; which usually consisted of play halo 2 on Xbox.
I nodded in understanding as I let the conversation die back to silence to avoid an angry Tess for the remainder of the day. If it was one thing she needed was her wake up time. She was easy to deal with when it wasn’t anytime before 10 a.m. though she could be very intimidating when she was in a bad mood, hence the avoidance.
Time passed even slower while I was in this silent state, so I told her I would see her at school and headed back to the school, praying the doors would be unlocked.
Chapter
The school day passed just as slowly as the morning had. By the time it had ended I had developed a headache and went straight home, promising myself that I would begin the job search the following day.
My head ache seemed to spread during the afternoon, and by the time evening had come around, my body was throbbing, not so much my body, mostly my spine and shoulders. I tried concentrating on my school work, though there wasn’t much to do. It was finished in an hour and I decided to turn in for the night.
Original
Chapter One
I could hear my mother’s foot steps climbing the stairs that night as I lay in bed; the aches had seemed to worsen. She knocked quietly at my door before entering with a steaming cup of tea and a small platter of saltines.
“Are you sure it’s not just cramps?” She asked me. I was sure. It wasn’t supposed to feel like this, if that is what it really was anyway.
I nodded my head because talking seemed like too much of a hassle at the moment. My spine felt like it was on fire and every bone in my body felt like brittle twigs ready to snap in half if I even dared moving.
“Are you planning on staying home tomorrow?” She asked disapprovingly, as if she already knew the answer, and I’m sure she did. I nodded again. “Fine, I’ll take you to the doctor in the morning. If you’re faking this-”
“Mom I’m not faking this time, I really am sick, or at least I feel like crap.”
She sighed and gave an exhausted smile as she bent down and kissed me on the forehead.
“Good night mom, I love you.”
“I love you too Nik, now get some rest.” She patted my feet softly and smiled back at me before she closed the door. For once in the last three days I dozed quickly and fell into a deep sleep.
Chapter Two
I woke the next day to a warm tingly feeling; my body was almost numb, like I was floating just off of my bed. I eventually rolled my head to the side to glance at the clock. The red glowing numbers were flashing 3:06, which was odd, it was sunny out. Sighing I flipped onto my stomach and reached an arm down to the floor. Blindly I fished a small square object from my purse, my cell phone, which also read the same time. If I had to guess I would say it was about nine. I could hear my mom faintly talking downstairs.
I crept down the stairs and glanced around. I could hear her but I couldn’t see her. I shrugged and went straight for a mug from the cupboard. With a steaming mug of coffee in hand I began to retreat back to my room.
“Yes, yes, excuse me for a moment, sweetie you really shouldn’t be drinking coffee.” I froze at the foot of the stairs and turned.
“It’s only one cup mom, please?” she rolled her eyes and sighed before she walked away, continuing the conversation in another room. With a satisfied grin on my face I sat down in front of the computer to work on my homework.
It was only about 5 minutes later when she came up and informed me of my doctor’s appointment at noon.
“Mom?” I asked as she turned to go, “do you know what time it is? My clock in my room is off.” She looked down at her watch.
“It’s almost 10.” I turned back towards the screen, stupid clock. I finished most of my homework before she called up to me again.
“Hunny!? Its 11:30!” she was stressed. The crackle in her voice gave it away. She hated going to the doctor. She was raised in a home that didn’t believe in doctors; a home where she was lead to believe that all things go away on their own.
It only took 15 minutes to get to the clinic, and the whole ride there was mostly silence. There were few words exchanged of my status; I still felt achy, and my bones felt more brittle than before. I had begun to feel a little nauseous, but I’m sure that was only because of motion sickness; my mother was the worst driver in the history of the world, well besides me anyway. I had managed to total out two vehicles within a month of receiving my probationary license; one included the vehicle we were in now, that was 5,ooo dollars in damage, and my parents didn’t waste their money on the other one. It was now permanently parked back in the woods behind our house.
Once we entered the doctor’s office, we filled out the papers and I was lead into a small room by a nurse.
“Ok, Ahnika, how have you been feeling?” she asked in a cheerful voice. She flashed a small kind smile at me, revealing a pearly white smile. She seemed pretty young, mid-twenties maybe. She also had a ring on that very important finger; not a very big one, but it was simple and cute. It was very out of place though on the finger of a lady in teal-blue scrubs and dishwater blond hair. She wasn’t ugly by any means, it just, didn’t quite fit. Her brown eyes revealed a little more than I bet she meant to give away. She had creases in her forehead and her eyes had a tint of blackness around them. She looked tired and about ready to give up on life. I never want to be like her. Pretending to be someone I’m not.
“Well, I’ve been kind of achy, not all over but mostly along my spine and my shoulder blades.”
“Have you been doing any heavy lifting?”
“No, not really. I mean my backpack can get pretty heavy at times, but it’s nothing I haven’t had before.”
“Alright, well, I’m going to take your blood pressure now.” She said as she rolled her chair towards the wall and grabbed the device. As she wrapped the arm piece around me she asked a few more personal questions.
“When is the last time you menstruated?” she asked as if she was asking about the weather.
“I haven’t got my period yet.” I said awkwardly. She faltered slightly with the arm piece, not enough for me to have noticed if I wasn’t paying attention.
“Wow! And you had a birthday a few months ago didn’t you? So you are sixteen?” She asked more curiously than I’m sure she meant to. I nodded.
“You’re lucky.” Lucky?
“That’s what everyone tells me.” I stated.
“Well your blood pressure looks good, how’s your temp?” she asked while she grabbed a thermometer. She more asked herself than me.
After checking my ears and my weight and height and all the other good stuff, I sat back in the chair as she confirmed my information.
“Address is still 159 west cherry street? Home phone is 111-378-9078? Birthday is February 17th?” I nodded after each question or answered with a simple ‘mmhmm’.
“You lost a little weight since November, about 10 pounds actually. Are you on a diet?”
“No, I actually thought I was gaining weight.”
“Try to get your weight back up there, you’re a little underweight. 106 lbs.” She went on and on but I was still stuck on the weight thing. I’d been eating a lot more than usual. Two sometimes three extra helpings from dinner; last week I ate two whole bags of Doritos on my own within a matter of two hours while I was working on homework. How can I be loosing weight?
Finally the Dr. came in and asked me similar questions as he read through the notes the nurse had taken.
When it was finally all said and done, he pinned it on growing pains and possibly my woman hood; I became furious.
“How is that even possible?! It doesn’t even hurt down there! It’s my shoulders and my back!” I nearly yelled. The doctor had called my mom in so he could let us both know what was going on. She gave me a look that told me to knock it off.
“Well dear, sometimes when you get cramps, it will cause your lower back to become sore.” The dr. went on. It wasn’t even my lower back; I had specifically told them that.
“Whatever.” I said in calm and irritated voice as I got up to leave.
The whole ride home every time my mom opened her mouth to speak I reminded her I didn’t want to talk about it. I knew there was something more to this; I wasn’t just becoming a woman, this was something big, I could feel it.
Chapter 3
I decided on my own to go to school the next day. With a week left of classes, I would have to be there to take finals; without them I’d fail.
School came to a close on a Tuesday and for several weeks after my condition seemed to worsen. There were days when I couldn’t get out of bed because of the aching. It had spread to every bone in my body; it wasn’t just my spine anymore, or my shoulders it was literally every bone.
One day, around the end of June, Tess came to see me. We had been scheduled to have a girl’s night, but today was one of those days; when it was all I could bear to stay still and enclose myself in a dark room with the radio on.
She sat herself on my bed. The movement awakened me with a wince.
“Maybe you have cancer.” She offered in a depressed voice while munching on Bugles.
“Ouch…” was all I said to that as I burrowed further into my nest of blankets and pillows. After a few minutes of silence I finally peeked out at her. She glanced sideways at me and held up a tiny grey teddy bear. It sported a black bow around its neck and held a tiny card that read ‘feel gooder soonish’. I lifted an eyebrow to that one.
“Did you make this or something?” I asked confused by the spelling in the message.
“I made the card.”
“Aw, that’s so special.” I said sarcastically. She always said things like that. I think it was to give sad people something to laugh at because it was only a matter of seconds before a grin slowly spread across my face, and hers.
“I figured you wouldn’t be up for anything too spontaneous so I stopped at Family Video and rented dorky girly movies, I brought you a smoothie too.” I smiled to that also. She always knew how to cheer me up.
So the rest of the evening consisted of us picking on the stupid movies she brought along and finally going down to join my parents for a lovely home cooked meal.
“Mmmm, pepperoni. Did you know pepperoni is the most fattening topping you can get on a pizza?” Austin commented before stuffing a piece in her mouth.
“That’s alright, that quack of a doctor told me to get my weight up anyway.” I replied, mimicking her disgusting eating habit.
We retreated back to my room to finish the movies and I was on my way up the stairs with two cans of Dr. Pepper in one hand, and gripping two classes with straws and ice in the other, when the house phone rang. I paid no attention to it and expected my parents to grab it, but when it went on, and on, and on I set down the objects in my hand and raced to grab it.
“Hello?” is asked slightly irritated.
“Hello is this Ms. Scott?” the tired voice of a woman on the other end replied.
“You mean Mrs. Scott?”
“No, I mean her daughter, Ms. Scott, is this her?” the voice demanded, aggravated.
“Uh, I guess, who is this?”
“Ms. Scott, Ahnika is it? I am calling on the behalf of Professor Jaymes A. Carmichael.”
“Ok…” where is this going? I thought as Austin sat up and looked at me through the doorway of my room. I cradled the phone in between my shoulder and ear as I held up my hands in an ‘I don’t know’ gesture.
“I want to congratulate you on your acceptance into our academy for the-“ the conversation was ended with a click of a button as I rolled my eyes and flopped down on the bed next to Austin.
“Telemarketer.” I stated in a bored tone.
“Mmmm, what were they selling this time?”
“I’m not sure, something about being accepted into some academy or whatever, I didn’t hear the rest.” I replied with a grin. We laughed together about it and pressed play on the DVD player.
We fell asleep awkwardly laying the wrong way on the bed, finishing up the last of five cheesy movies. My vision blurred from Carrie at the prom with pigs blood all over her to that of a completely foreign place.
I was running through a forest of towering blue spruce trees. I originally thought I was hearing the thumping of bass. I was angry in the dream; or maybe more ashamed, a mixture of both? I soon found that the sound I was hearing was not music, but my own pounding heart. I felt weak and exhausted, as if I had been running for a long time.
Out of nowhere the forest lifted away from me, or rather, I was falling away from it. I didn’t feel scared though. It was more of a relieved feeling, safe. Like it was something I had been waiting for. I should have been screaming for my life because the ground was coming ever closer, and I just watched it. It just got bigger and bigger and I did nothing to stop it.
I remember smiling to myself and waiting. My shoulders felt slightly weighed down, like something had been pinned, or tied to the back of my shirt. I flexed my shoulders and I was suddenly ripped upward. My shoulders felt like they had been crushed, maybe I did hit the ground; I wasn’t sure because my eyes suddenly flew open.
I was completely unaware of my surroundings, and it frightened me, the vision laid out before me. I was standing on the roof outside my room. I glanced back to find the window was wide open. The wind was blowing my curtains into the room. I thought for a moment I might have been crying again. I finally looked up and felt the cold drops of water hitting my face. It was raining.
Chapter 4
After crawling back through the window, soaked from the rain, I changed into dry clothes. I lay on the bed next to Austin for nearly an hour staring at the ceiling with a blank mind. The incident had already been forgotten.
Chapter
When I opened my eyes, I still felt trapped in a dream. A small opening in a doorway was the only source for light in this room. From what I could tell, this room consisted of a dirt floor and concrete walls. There were no windows and the damp darkness reminded me of a cellar. My back was pressed up against the grimy stone of the walls and my bottom felt cold and wet.
I realized now that my hands were bound above my head with shackles. My legs throbbed and ached. The pain was as bad as my wings, ten times over. My wings; I tried to lift them or unfurl them, any kind of movement from behind me would have been greatly appreciated, but I felt nothing. I let my muscles relax and my head hang. I had been crying, and didn’t notice till now.
I heard a faint crash from outside my dungeon. Lifting my head would have been a waste of energy, I wouldn’t see anything anyway. A small draft lifted my bangs and the door creaked open a little further. A small shimmer, just inches from my feet, caught the light and my attention. I lifted my head a little. My necklace was lying just beyond my feet, just inches out of reach. The newfound light showed the blood on my jeans. The simple movement of stretching my body out made me wince in pain, trying to hold back a scream. Breathing heavily I tried again. The bones below my knees crackled and moved beneath the skin of my shins. My legs were broken, they had to be. Nothing else could possibly cause this kind of pain.
There was a loud boom from up above and more crashing sounds. Knowing where I was encased would have helped me to know what was going on. The door creaked a little more with each sound. Whatever was happening had to have been pretty powerful for it to cause an underground door to sway. I glanced back towards the floor and what caught the edge of the light this time did make me scream. There were rats, tons of them, hundreds. They were feasting on a body against the opposite wall. The commotion upstairs had suddenly ceased. I scrambled for my feet to catch the necklace. Finally my bare heel caught the string of it and with great difficulty I bent my knees and dragged the tiny charm towards me. I pulled on the chains above my head harder, twisting and revolving my wrists. Tiny shards of rust floated down around me and atop my head. The chain links clinked together created an eerie scraping sound. Chunks of stone fell around me as the rusted bolt connecting my inanimate captor to the wall began to give way.
The movement from upstairs had started up again and worse. The fragile door swung completely open and allowed light to fill the entire room. I felt like everything suddenly slowed and came to a halt. The rats scurried from the body as the light hit them and the draft began to pick up. The body was that of a girl, or rather a woman. A woman of white golden hair and fair skin lay lifeless on the dirt floor with her pale blue eyes wide open in fear.
“Avery?” I whispered weakly. The sight brought more tears to my eyes and suddenly everything sped back up. I began to thrash madly in the dirt. I beat my shackled wrists against the damp stone, bringing more debris down upon me. The fragile rusted bolt flew from the wall and I fell forward onto my stomach. With wrists still held together by the remains of the chains, I undid the ropes around my ankles. The crashes from above grew ever louder while I worked to grip the green stone between my hands.
“Liberate!” I nearly screamed in a harsh whisper. The stone felt warm to the touch and began to glow like a black flame. I let my tears cascade down onto the chains. My tears acting as acid, quickly ate away at the chains.
“Rapier!” I whispered once more. The stone grew colder and began to shimmer like silver. It slowly grew to sword length with an edge sharper than razors. The sound of a door bashing into a wall lead me only to assume that someone, or something was coming for me. I raced to the door and slowly moved it back to its original state. I hid just behind it, pressing myself as tight as I could against the cool stone wall.
It only took seconds for the intruder to get to it and push it wide open. I heard heavy breathing coming from the other side of the door.
Adrian Carmichael stepped further into the room, into my line of vision. He had been so nice to me, how could he possibly be the bad guy here? I then realized I had a choice; trust no one and live, or spare his life and possibly lose my wings, or my life. Great options Nik. It took seconds for me to make the decision from my tiny dark corner. I kicked the door shut and before it even slammed into the door frame; my sword was lodged into his back.
The nauseating sound of a limp body hitting the ground was enough for me and I ran. I threw the door open and intended to slice open anyone who got in my way. I was a blood thirsty demon that had risen from years of dormant existence. Anger had come out of nowhere; my self pity simply disintegrated.
One: The End of the Beginning
I sat there in, well; I didn’t really quite understand what I was feeling. It wasn’t shock, I was sure of that. I had seen this coming for a while now. I guess I was in a more, unbelieving state as I sat there on my bed.
I attempted to avert my gaze, get my mind off the subject. My eyes followed the golden vines on my bright pink/orange wallpaper. When that failed, I began to trace the cracks in the ceiling.
“I guess I just can’t believe you put up with my crap for this long Nik, you’re better than that, better than me.” He stated simply. It had been one hell of an eight months—my longest relationship—and on the day of the anniversary, this is where I sat, allowing my heart be shattered into pieces. I stared, astonished at him.
“I never noticed how hard you were trying, how badly you wanted this to work, and so this is my fault, because I just went along with it. It’s not that I didn’t care, I just didn’t see it going anywhere.” He attempted to clarify his rationing. I was still trying to block him out. Today of all days my selective hearing failed me. And so I nodded back to him, speechless; fearing if I opened my mouth, it would also open my blockade of tear flow.
“I guess I just wish you wouldn’t hate me,” He continued. Oh how I wished he would shut up and disappear.
I almost regretted my threat from the last fight we had. I thought back to it. We had gotten in a fight because he took my best friend shopping, and I didn’t trust him. When it was all done and said, I warned him that if he ever tried to break up with me again, that would be the last time because I didn’t want to try anymore. He had tried to break things off a time or two before, but somehow (most likely my tears), I got to him and he’d take it back. I’m sure this is the reason for my tear blockade this time, when I said ‘last time’, I meant it, not even my tears were going to try and talk him out of it this time.
“I don’t hate you.” I whispered truthfully. I could feel it coming; if he didn’t leave now my tears would fail me.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you around then.” He finalized quietly as he got up off my bed.
I watched him go, from my second story window. His head ducked as he slowly made his way to the car. Stupid car; I would never be able to look at an ’89 Camero the same, or any Camero for that matter.
It rumbled away and I felt the wave of pain I’d held back escape; it sent me sprawling across the floor of my room like a dead person. That’s what I felt like; a dead person. I couldn’t believe only months ago he had asked me to marry him when I was finished with college. Although, the thought of college made me chuckle, Maybe I should focus on graduating high school first…
Two: Wasting Time
The pain of losing Cody was starting to dwindle within a matter of weeks. Though I still thought of him frequently, the pain didn’t bother me so much. Of coarse I still loved him with my whole heart, but the fact I tried to etch into my mind was that I didn’t want somebody who didn’t want me.
I dwelled on this topic daily, mostly in the morning while I readied myself for school alone.
My mother worked a first shift factory job in the neighboring town of Medford, and my dad owned a trucking company; he left early and came home late.
I found myself heading to school early, attempting to clear my mind. It didn’t really help though. This car alone was enough to spark my memories of him. We took my little blue cavalier everywhere.
To put it shortly, his car was a pile. A tiny green Saturn that could pass for my car’s grandfather; it was exactly 10 years older.
I made it to school in 7 minutes; record timing in my book. The lot was still empty, and I had nearly an hour before school started, the doors weren’t even unlocked yet, so I ventured back to my car. Well this sucks. I put my seat back and turned my car on enough to hear the radio before digging through my bag. My sketchbook, obviously worn, was smashed between my History and my Botany books.
I began analyzing a sketch I had been working on lately, scrutinizing everything about it. I was nearly temped to just rip it out and throw it out the window. I fought against it and threw the book back in my bag before resting my head against the head rest. Glancing at the clock, I realized only two minutes had passed and I needed something a little more constructive to do. My unfinished history homework would have been a go, and my grade was in the lower 70’s for that class, but history bored me more than sitting here, so I decided against that.
I glanced at the clock again; this really wasn’t helping considering it still read the same time as before.
Aggravated, I dug out my cell. Hopefully Tess would be up, which was doubtful.
Tess had been my friend since I transferred here in the sixth grade. I lived in Stetsonville, I tiny tiny town with a population that was so small it should have been listed as unincorporated. In fact it was so small that the school there only went to fifth grade. My class there consisted of maybe 20 kids, where as my class now held over 200 people; quite a jump. In Stetsonville, I think I was friends with just about everyone in my class. In Medford, I couldn’t even remember all of their names, and I’d been with them for five years.
Once I hit sixth grade, we no longer had the same teacher all day long, we began switching teachers for each class, which was a scary transition for me, especially since the kids I had known for the first 6 years of my schooling weren’t in any of my classes; Tess was in every single one. She was also the first to talk to me. I remember that day like it happened last week.
I walked into my first class of the day, shaking at the knees because I was a very shy, and socially challenged person; making new friends was difficult for me.
What made things worse was that in this class I wasn’t allowed to go un-noticed in the back of the class, no of coarse not. Teacher had put us in (and our desks) in clusters of 4 around the class room; two desks sitting side by side, facing two identical desks. Tess sat next to me and our desks were paired with a set of twin boys, even scarier, for me. Along with my social disorder, boys frightened me in a fashion so horrid that the first week there I ran to the bathroom, nauseated, right after class. Tess was very easy going though and never really judged me, but she was very pretty and always surrounded by boys. Even at the early age of 11 she was smokin’ to all the little 11 year old boys. She had beautiful, silky blonde hair and I remember in the eighth grade I made my aunt bleach my hair to match it. The bleach only fried my hair and I was nicknamed frizzy for the rest of the year. She was short though, only about 5’1, but she made up for it with her outgoing and boisterous personality.
“Don’t you ever talk?” were the first words out her mouth. I had nodded and smiled shyly, and the boys across from us gave each other a devious smirk.
That first very long semester was a rough one, but our seats were permanently set and we hadn’t moved, which led to me eventually having to speak to her; leading me to like her. I even began sitting with her at lunch (I won’t go into the excruciating details of where I sat before, but in short; she saved me). I even began to talk to the ridiculously irritating twins that sat with us, though that was somewhat forced on my by Mrs. Henkel.
I finally gave my reminiscing a rest as I pulled into her driveway. The clock had barely moved and I was beginning to wonder if it was broken. Surprisingly, she was awake, sitting in her usual chair on the front porch with her steaming cup of coffee and a cigarette. Yes, the damned sixteen year old smoked, like a chimney.
I have to admit she was a very bad influence, as I had begun to smoke in times of panic. She looked like an irritable bull at the moment so I kept the conversation quiet until she spoke first.
To her, it wasn’t odd to see me ready at 7 in the morning, I usually woke fairly early, where as she was the type to roll out of bed somewhere around 8, sometimes later.
“My mom is making me take Tommy to school.” She finally spoke in a dark voice, as if she was telling me a plot to kill somebody. Tommy was her very irritating, very needy, but generally tolerable little brother. He was 4 years younger than us but always wanted to ‘hang out’ with us; which usually consisted of play halo 2 on Xbox.
I nodded in understanding as I let the conversation die back to silence to avoid an angry Tess for the remainder of the day. If it was one thing she needed was her wake up time. She was easy to deal with when it wasn’t anytime before 10 a.m. though she could be very intimidating when she was in a bad mood, hence the avoidance.
Time passed even slower while I was in this silent state, so I told her I would see her at school and headed back to the school, praying the doors would be unlocked.
Chapter
The school day passed just as slowly as the morning had. By the time it had ended I had developed a headache and went straight home, promising myself that I would begin the job search the following day.
My head ache seemed to spread during the afternoon, and by the time evening had come around, my body was throbbing, not so much my body, mostly my spine and shoulders. I tried concentrating on my school work, though there wasn’t much to do. It was finished in an hour and I decided to turn in for the night.
Original
Chapter One
I could hear my mother’s foot steps climbing the stairs that night as I lay in bed; the aches had seemed to worsen. She knocked quietly at my door before entering with a steaming cup of tea and a small platter of saltines.
“Are you sure it’s not just cramps?” She asked me. I was sure. It wasn’t supposed to feel like this, if that is what it really was anyway.
I nodded my head because talking seemed like too much of a hassle at the moment. My spine felt like it was on fire and every bone in my body felt like brittle twigs ready to snap in half if I even dared moving.
“Are you planning on staying home tomorrow?” She asked disapprovingly, as if she already knew the answer, and I’m sure she did. I nodded again. “Fine, I’ll take you to the doctor in the morning. If you’re faking this-”
“Mom I’m not faking this time, I really am sick, or at least I feel like crap.”
She sighed and gave an exhausted smile as she bent down and kissed me on the forehead.
“Good night mom, I love you.”
“I love you too Nik, now get some rest.” She patted my feet softly and smiled back at me before she closed the door. For once in the last three days I dozed quickly and fell into a deep sleep.
Chapter Two
I woke the next day to a warm tingly feeling; my body was almost numb, like I was floating just off of my bed. I eventually rolled my head to the side to glance at the clock. The red glowing numbers were flashing 3:06, which was odd, it was sunny out. Sighing I flipped onto my stomach and reached an arm down to the floor. Blindly I fished a small square object from my purse, my cell phone, which also read the same time. If I had to guess I would say it was about nine. I could hear my mom faintly talking downstairs.
I crept down the stairs and glanced around. I could hear her but I couldn’t see her. I shrugged and went straight for a mug from the cupboard. With a steaming mug of coffee in hand I began to retreat back to my room.
“Yes, yes, excuse me for a moment, sweetie you really shouldn’t be drinking coffee.” I froze at the foot of the stairs and turned.
“It’s only one cup mom, please?” she rolled her eyes and sighed before she walked away, continuing the conversation in another room. With a satisfied grin on my face I sat down in front of the computer to work on my homework.
It was only about 5 minutes later when she came up and informed me of my doctor’s appointment at noon.
“Mom?” I asked as she turned to go, “do you know what time it is? My clock in my room is off.” She looked down at her watch.
“It’s almost 10.” I turned back towards the screen, stupid clock. I finished most of my homework before she called up to me again.
“Hunny!? Its 11:30!” she was stressed. The crackle in her voice gave it away. She hated going to the doctor. She was raised in a home that didn’t believe in doctors; a home where she was lead to believe that all things go away on their own.
It only took 15 minutes to get to the clinic, and the whole ride there was mostly silence. There were few words exchanged of my status; I still felt achy, and my bones felt more brittle than before. I had begun to feel a little nauseous, but I’m sure that was only because of motion sickness; my mother was the worst driver in the history of the world, well besides me anyway. I had managed to total out two vehicles within a month of receiving my probationary license; one included the vehicle we were in now, that was 5,ooo dollars in damage, and my parents didn’t waste their money on the other one. It was now permanently parked back in the woods behind our house.
Once we entered the doctor’s office, we filled out the papers and I was lead into a small room by a nurse.
“Ok, Ahnika, how have you been feeling?” she asked in a cheerful voice. She flashed a small kind smile at me, revealing a pearly white smile. She seemed pretty young, mid-twenties maybe. She also had a ring on that very important finger; not a very big one, but it was simple and cute. It was very out of place though on the finger of a lady in teal-blue scrubs and dishwater blond hair. She wasn’t ugly by any means, it just, didn’t quite fit. Her brown eyes revealed a little more than I bet she meant to give away. She had creases in her forehead and her eyes had a tint of blackness around them. She looked tired and about ready to give up on life. I never want to be like her. Pretending to be someone I’m not.
“Well, I’ve been kind of achy, not all over but mostly along my spine and my shoulder blades.”
“Have you been doing any heavy lifting?”
“No, not really. I mean my backpack can get pretty heavy at times, but it’s nothing I haven’t had before.”
“Alright, well, I’m going to take your blood pressure now.” She said as she rolled her chair towards the wall and grabbed the device. As she wrapped the arm piece around me she asked a few more personal questions.
“When is the last time you menstruated?” she asked as if she was asking about the weather.
“I haven’t got my period yet.” I said awkwardly. She faltered slightly with the arm piece, not enough for me to have noticed if I wasn’t paying attention.
“Wow! And you had a birthday a few months ago didn’t you? So you are sixteen?” She asked more curiously than I’m sure she meant to. I nodded.
“You’re lucky.” Lucky?
“That’s what everyone tells me.” I stated.
“Well your blood pressure looks good, how’s your temp?” she asked while she grabbed a thermometer. She more asked herself than me.
After checking my ears and my weight and height and all the other good stuff, I sat back in the chair as she confirmed my information.
“Address is still 159 west cherry street? Home phone is 111-378-9078? Birthday is February 17th?” I nodded after each question or answered with a simple ‘mmhmm’.
“You lost a little weight since November, about 10 pounds actually. Are you on a diet?”
“No, I actually thought I was gaining weight.”
“Try to get your weight back up there, you’re a little underweight. 106 lbs.” She went on and on but I was still stuck on the weight thing. I’d been eating a lot more than usual. Two sometimes three extra helpings from dinner; last week I ate two whole bags of Doritos on my own within a matter of two hours while I was working on homework. How can I be loosing weight?
Finally the Dr. came in and asked me similar questions as he read through the notes the nurse had taken.
When it was finally all said and done, he pinned it on growing pains and possibly my woman hood; I became furious.
“How is that even possible?! It doesn’t even hurt down there! It’s my shoulders and my back!” I nearly yelled. The doctor had called my mom in so he could let us both know what was going on. She gave me a look that told me to knock it off.
“Well dear, sometimes when you get cramps, it will cause your lower back to become sore.” The dr. went on. It wasn’t even my lower back; I had specifically told them that.
“Whatever.” I said in calm and irritated voice as I got up to leave.
The whole ride home every time my mom opened her mouth to speak I reminded her I didn’t want to talk about it. I knew there was something more to this; I wasn’t just becoming a woman, this was something big, I could feel it.
Chapter 3
I decided on my own to go to school the next day. With a week left of classes, I would have to be there to take finals; without them I’d fail.
School came to a close on a Tuesday and for several weeks after my condition seemed to worsen. There were days when I couldn’t get out of bed because of the aching. It had spread to every bone in my body; it wasn’t just my spine anymore, or my shoulders it was literally every bone.
One day, around the end of June, Tess came to see me. We had been scheduled to have a girl’s night, but today was one of those days; when it was all I could bear to stay still and enclose myself in a dark room with the radio on.
She sat herself on my bed. The movement awakened me with a wince.
“Maybe you have cancer.” She offered in a depressed voice while munching on Bugles.
“Ouch…” was all I said to that as I burrowed further into my nest of blankets and pillows. After a few minutes of silence I finally peeked out at her. She glanced sideways at me and held up a tiny grey teddy bear. It sported a black bow around its neck and held a tiny card that read ‘feel gooder soonish’. I lifted an eyebrow to that one.
“Did you make this or something?” I asked confused by the spelling in the message.
“I made the card.”
“Aw, that’s so special.” I said sarcastically. She always said things like that. I think it was to give sad people something to laugh at because it was only a matter of seconds before a grin slowly spread across my face, and hers.
“I figured you wouldn’t be up for anything too spontaneous so I stopped at Family Video and rented dorky girly movies, I brought you a smoothie too.” I smiled to that also. She always knew how to cheer me up.
So the rest of the evening consisted of us picking on the stupid movies she brought along and finally going down to join my parents for a lovely home cooked meal.
“Mmmm, pepperoni. Did you know pepperoni is the most fattening topping you can get on a pizza?” Austin commented before stuffing a piece in her mouth.
“That’s alright, that quack of a doctor told me to get my weight up anyway.” I replied, mimicking her disgusting eating habit.
We retreated back to my room to finish the movies and I was on my way up the stairs with two cans of Dr. Pepper in one hand, and gripping two classes with straws and ice in the other, when the house phone rang. I paid no attention to it and expected my parents to grab it, but when it went on, and on, and on I set down the objects in my hand and raced to grab it.
“Hello?” is asked slightly irritated.
“Hello is this Ms. Scott?” the tired voice of a woman on the other end replied.
“You mean Mrs. Scott?”
“No, I mean her daughter, Ms. Scott, is this her?” the voice demanded, aggravated.
“Uh, I guess, who is this?”
“Ms. Scott, Ahnika is it? I am calling on the behalf of Professor Jaymes A. Carmichael.”
“Ok…” where is this going? I thought as Austin sat up and looked at me through the doorway of my room. I cradled the phone in between my shoulder and ear as I held up my hands in an ‘I don’t know’ gesture.
“I want to congratulate you on your acceptance into our academy for the-“ the conversation was ended with a click of a button as I rolled my eyes and flopped down on the bed next to Austin.
“Telemarketer.” I stated in a bored tone.
“Mmmm, what were they selling this time?”
“I’m not sure, something about being accepted into some academy or whatever, I didn’t hear the rest.” I replied with a grin. We laughed together about it and pressed play on the DVD player.
We fell asleep awkwardly laying the wrong way on the bed, finishing up the last of five cheesy movies. My vision blurred from Carrie at the prom with pigs blood all over her to that of a completely foreign place.
I was running through a forest of towering blue spruce trees. I originally thought I was hearing the thumping of bass. I was angry in the dream; or maybe more ashamed, a mixture of both? I soon found that the sound I was hearing was not music, but my own pounding heart. I felt weak and exhausted, as if I had been running for a long time.
Out of nowhere the forest lifted away from me, or rather, I was falling away from it. I didn’t feel scared though. It was more of a relieved feeling, safe. Like it was something I had been waiting for. I should have been screaming for my life because the ground was coming ever closer, and I just watched it. It just got bigger and bigger and I did nothing to stop it.
I remember smiling to myself and waiting. My shoulders felt slightly weighed down, like something had been pinned, or tied to the back of my shirt. I flexed my shoulders and I was suddenly ripped upward. My shoulders felt like they had been crushed, maybe I did hit the ground; I wasn’t sure because my eyes suddenly flew open.
I was completely unaware of my surroundings, and it frightened me, the vision laid out before me. I was standing on the roof outside my room. I glanced back to find the window was wide open. The wind was blowing my curtains into the room. I thought for a moment I might have been crying again. I finally looked up and felt the cold drops of water hitting my face. It was raining.
Chapter 4
After crawling back through the window, soaked from the rain, I changed into dry clothes. I lay on the bed next to Austin for nearly an hour staring at the ceiling with a blank mind. The incident had already been forgotten.
Chapter
When I opened my eyes, I still felt trapped in a dream. A small opening in a doorway was the only source for light in this room. From what I could tell, this room consisted of a dirt floor and concrete walls. There were no windows and the damp darkness reminded me of a cellar. My back was pressed up against the grimy stone of the walls and my bottom felt cold and wet.
I realized now that my hands were bound above my head with shackles. My legs throbbed and ached. The pain was as bad as my wings, ten times over. My wings; I tried to lift them or unfurl them, any kind of movement from behind me would have been greatly appreciated, but I felt nothing. I let my muscles relax and my head hang. I had been crying, and didn’t notice till now.
I heard a faint crash from outside my dungeon. Lifting my head would have been a waste of energy, I wouldn’t see anything anyway. A small draft lifted my bangs and the door creaked open a little further. A small shimmer, just inches from my feet, caught the light and my attention. I lifted my head a little. My necklace was lying just beyond my feet, just inches out of reach. The newfound light showed the blood on my jeans. The simple movement of stretching my body out made me wince in pain, trying to hold back a scream. Breathing heavily I tried again. The bones below my knees crackled and moved beneath the skin of my shins. My legs were broken, they had to be. Nothing else could possibly cause this kind of pain.
There was a loud boom from up above and more crashing sounds. Knowing where I was encased would have helped me to know what was going on. The door creaked a little more with each sound. Whatever was happening had to have been pretty powerful for it to cause an underground door to sway. I glanced back towards the floor and what caught the edge of the light this time did make me scream. There were rats, tons of them, hundreds. They were feasting on a body against the opposite wall. The commotion upstairs had suddenly ceased. I scrambled for my feet to catch the necklace. Finally my bare heel caught the string of it and with great difficulty I bent my knees and dragged the tiny charm towards me. I pulled on the chains above my head harder, twisting and revolving my wrists. Tiny shards of rust floated down around me and atop my head. The chain links clinked together created an eerie scraping sound. Chunks of stone fell around me as the rusted bolt connecting my inanimate captor to the wall began to give way.
The movement from upstairs had started up again and worse. The fragile door swung completely open and allowed light to fill the entire room. I felt like everything suddenly slowed and came to a halt. The rats scurried from the body as the light hit them and the draft began to pick up. The body was that of a girl, or rather a woman. A woman of white golden hair and fair skin lay lifeless on the dirt floor with her pale blue eyes wide open in fear.
“Avery?” I whispered weakly. The sight brought more tears to my eyes and suddenly everything sped back up. I began to thrash madly in the dirt. I beat my shackled wrists against the damp stone, bringing more debris down upon me. The fragile rusted bolt flew from the wall and I fell forward onto my stomach. With wrists still held together by the remains of the chains, I undid the ropes around my ankles. The crashes from above grew ever louder while I worked to grip the green stone between my hands.
“Liberate!” I nearly screamed in a harsh whisper. The stone felt warm to the touch and began to glow like a black flame. I let my tears cascade down onto the chains. My tears acting as acid, quickly ate away at the chains.
“Rapier!” I whispered once more. The stone grew colder and began to shimmer like silver. It slowly grew to sword length with an edge sharper than razors. The sound of a door bashing into a wall lead me only to assume that someone, or something was coming for me. I raced to the door and slowly moved it back to its original state. I hid just behind it, pressing myself as tight as I could against the cool stone wall.
It only took seconds for the intruder to get to it and push it wide open. I heard heavy breathing coming from the other side of the door.
Adrian Carmichael stepped further into the room, into my line of vision. He had been so nice to me, how could he possibly be the bad guy here? I then realized I had a choice; trust no one and live, or spare his life and possibly lose my wings, or my life. Great options Nik. It took seconds for me to make the decision from my tiny dark corner. I kicked the door shut and before it even slammed into the door frame; my sword was lodged into his back.
The nauseating sound of a limp body hitting the ground was enough for me and I ran. I threw the door open and intended to slice open anyone who got in my way. I was a blood thirsty demon that had risen from years of dormant existence. Anger had come out of nowhere; my self pity simply disintegrated.
character profiles
THE STUPID FREAKING PICTURES DIDN'T SHOW UP!!!!
Ahnika Samantha Dean Wilcott:
Age: 16
Height: 5’4
Hair: Dark Brown
Eyes: Deep Green
Personal Profile: Ahnika Samantha Dean Wilcott, also known as Nik, grew up in a normal rural setting in a small town. Her parents, Jonathan and Kate, made her experience the normal, working class life. With Kate working factory jobs, and Jonathan owning a Trucking company, they were able to give her everything she needed, and were quite generous with their money towards their only daughter, but she was never overly spoiled.
3 months before her 17th birthday, Nik begins experiencing pains in her upper back and shoulders. Believing it was just a late onset of the average womanly experiences in life, she was caught off guard when informed of her acceptance to a private school, a school for things with wings. Thinking it was a hoax she continues to ignore the many forms of communication, trying to acknowledge to her the fact that she was just a little bit different from the rest.
2 weeks before her birthday she is taken by surprise when 2 representatives of the school locate her in her home. She was rushed to pack her things before they whisked her away to a world she thought only existed in her most recent dreams, and nightmares. Throughout the story, she is forced to come to peace with the fact that she is no longer the ordinary, driven high school teenager she was. Along with her surroundings, her personality and view on life change as well.
Tessa Marie Larsen:
Age: 16
Height: 5’1
Hair: Blond
Eyes: Blue
Personal Profile: Throughout the beginning of the story, Tess is the boisterous, outgoing best friend. As time wears on, and her friend changes, she begins to turn for the worst, doing whatever it takes to find out where Ahnika has been sent and what was causing these changes. The once loyal friend becomes lost in curiosity and finds herself in trouble when she meets the Carmichael clan. The people who treat her they way she used to be treated, deceiving he friend in the worst way, and letting loose a line of horrid secrets that could scar the friendship for life.
Austin Mackayla Winston:
Age: 17
Height: 5’7
Hair: Black
Eyes: Blue
Personal Profile: As Ahnika struggles with the news of her background, she is introduced to Austin, her new roommate. As Ahnika’s friendship with Tess dwindles, it is replaced with a new more compatible friendship. Austin helps to change Ahnika’s perspective on life, and her personality for the better. With new confidence (and the aid of Austin’s friendship) nothing can stop the girl’s weather it’s sabotaging a lesson plan, burning a palace to the ground in attempts to win a war, or surviving a ball. Thanks to the aid of the humorously confident Austin, Ahnika finds her first experience with love, and possibly the last.
Jordin Angeline Scott:
Age: 17
Height: 5’6
Hair: bleach blond
Eyes: clear blue
Personal Profile: Jordin is introduce to Ahnika through Austin. The beautiful, conceited “popular girl” of the school is seen as oddly out of place in Ahnika’s group of newfound friends. Flirting with the teachers and all the boys is common habit in Jordin’s world that Ahnika is not yet accustomed to. Along with Austin, Jordin helps Ahnika find herself in this bumpy and sometimes murky, overwhelmingly complicated journey.
Parker Louis:
Age: 17
Height: 5’7
Hair: black w/ purple streaks
Eyes: purple contacts
Personal Profile: Parker, twin to Darby, is an oddly original character that Ahnika find’s refuge with when in doubt of her smarts in the new world.
Darby Louis:
Age: 17
Height: 5’11
Hair: white w/ blue streaks
Eyes: grayish blue
Personal Profile: Darby, twin of Parker, is also a very smart boy in Ahnika’s group of friends. When Parker is nowhere to be found or is unresourceful, Ahnika turns to Darby for assistance. Darby, being one of the only guys in the group, find’s Ahnika’s tomboyish personality very amusing and irresistible.
Jaymee Spath:
Age: 17
Height: 6’1
Hair: dark brown
Eyes: dark brown
Personal Profile: Jaymee is a very shy and quite character that is intrigued by Ahnika, but strongly unattrackted to her. They usually end up in I pitiful mindless fight from time to time, but with Jaymee being Darby’s only male friend, it is unavoidable.
Riley John Wilcott:
Age: 18
Height: 5’9
Hair: Black
Eyes: Green
Personal Profile: Ahnika’s mysteriously unheard of cousin that just happens to be attending the same school but with alternate abilities than she. Ahnika’s first day to the school is the starting point for this seemingly growing companionship when Riley is directed to give her flying lessons for the first 6 months of her new schooling career. Knowing that this was not voluntary, Ahnika is determined to find out what this punishment was for, though in the end, it was a bearable punishment.
Xander Michael Jaymes:
Age: 18
Height: 5’8
Hair: Auburn
Eyes: Sparkling Blue
Personal Profile: Friend to Riley, extremely irritating and cocky towards Ahnika. Little brother to Kaden.
Kaden Anthony Jaymes:
Age: 19
Height: 5’9
Hair: Auburn
Eyes: greenish blue
Personal Profile: his presence makes Ahnika feel awkwardly terrified, like there is something dangerous about him. His eyes hold thousands of secrets as well as his mysterious ability to sense everything about her.
Bethany Carmichael:
Age: 17
Height: 5’4
Hair: dark brown
Eyes: green
Personal Profile: Only communicates with her brothers. Very pushy and overbearing. Spoiled. Bitchy. Extremely athletic and driven. Ahnika’s oddly identical worst nightmare.
Conner Carmichael:
Age: 19
Height: 6’0
Hair: Dark brown
Eyes: green
Personal Profile: brother to Bethany, very kind, almost completely opposite of Bethany but very protective.
Aiden Carmichael:
Age: 21
Height: 6’2
Hair: dark brown
Eyes: green
Personal Profile: Silent, strong, very protective of little sister Bethany.
Ahnika Samantha Dean Wilcott:
Age: 16
Height: 5’4
Hair: Dark Brown
Eyes: Deep Green
Personal Profile: Ahnika Samantha Dean Wilcott, also known as Nik, grew up in a normal rural setting in a small town. Her parents, Jonathan and Kate, made her experience the normal, working class life. With Kate working factory jobs, and Jonathan owning a Trucking company, they were able to give her everything she needed, and were quite generous with their money towards their only daughter, but she was never overly spoiled.
3 months before her 17th birthday, Nik begins experiencing pains in her upper back and shoulders. Believing it was just a late onset of the average womanly experiences in life, she was caught off guard when informed of her acceptance to a private school, a school for things with wings. Thinking it was a hoax she continues to ignore the many forms of communication, trying to acknowledge to her the fact that she was just a little bit different from the rest.
2 weeks before her birthday she is taken by surprise when 2 representatives of the school locate her in her home. She was rushed to pack her things before they whisked her away to a world she thought only existed in her most recent dreams, and nightmares. Throughout the story, she is forced to come to peace with the fact that she is no longer the ordinary, driven high school teenager she was. Along with her surroundings, her personality and view on life change as well.
Tessa Marie Larsen:
Age: 16
Height: 5’1
Hair: Blond
Eyes: Blue
Personal Profile: Throughout the beginning of the story, Tess is the boisterous, outgoing best friend. As time wears on, and her friend changes, she begins to turn for the worst, doing whatever it takes to find out where Ahnika has been sent and what was causing these changes. The once loyal friend becomes lost in curiosity and finds herself in trouble when she meets the Carmichael clan. The people who treat her they way she used to be treated, deceiving he friend in the worst way, and letting loose a line of horrid secrets that could scar the friendship for life.
Austin Mackayla Winston:
Age: 17
Height: 5’7
Hair: Black
Eyes: Blue
Personal Profile: As Ahnika struggles with the news of her background, she is introduced to Austin, her new roommate. As Ahnika’s friendship with Tess dwindles, it is replaced with a new more compatible friendship. Austin helps to change Ahnika’s perspective on life, and her personality for the better. With new confidence (and the aid of Austin’s friendship) nothing can stop the girl’s weather it’s sabotaging a lesson plan, burning a palace to the ground in attempts to win a war, or surviving a ball. Thanks to the aid of the humorously confident Austin, Ahnika finds her first experience with love, and possibly the last.
Jordin Angeline Scott:
Age: 17
Height: 5’6
Hair: bleach blond
Eyes: clear blue
Personal Profile: Jordin is introduce to Ahnika through Austin. The beautiful, conceited “popular girl” of the school is seen as oddly out of place in Ahnika’s group of newfound friends. Flirting with the teachers and all the boys is common habit in Jordin’s world that Ahnika is not yet accustomed to. Along with Austin, Jordin helps Ahnika find herself in this bumpy and sometimes murky, overwhelmingly complicated journey.
Parker Louis:
Age: 17
Height: 5’7
Hair: black w/ purple streaks
Eyes: purple contacts
Personal Profile: Parker, twin to Darby, is an oddly original character that Ahnika find’s refuge with when in doubt of her smarts in the new world.
Darby Louis:
Age: 17
Height: 5’11
Hair: white w/ blue streaks
Eyes: grayish blue
Personal Profile: Darby, twin of Parker, is also a very smart boy in Ahnika’s group of friends. When Parker is nowhere to be found or is unresourceful, Ahnika turns to Darby for assistance. Darby, being one of the only guys in the group, find’s Ahnika’s tomboyish personality very amusing and irresistible.
Jaymee Spath:
Age: 17
Height: 6’1
Hair: dark brown
Eyes: dark brown
Personal Profile: Jaymee is a very shy and quite character that is intrigued by Ahnika, but strongly unattrackted to her. They usually end up in I pitiful mindless fight from time to time, but with Jaymee being Darby’s only male friend, it is unavoidable.
Riley John Wilcott:
Age: 18
Height: 5’9
Hair: Black
Eyes: Green
Personal Profile: Ahnika’s mysteriously unheard of cousin that just happens to be attending the same school but with alternate abilities than she. Ahnika’s first day to the school is the starting point for this seemingly growing companionship when Riley is directed to give her flying lessons for the first 6 months of her new schooling career. Knowing that this was not voluntary, Ahnika is determined to find out what this punishment was for, though in the end, it was a bearable punishment.
Xander Michael Jaymes:
Age: 18
Height: 5’8
Hair: Auburn
Eyes: Sparkling Blue
Personal Profile: Friend to Riley, extremely irritating and cocky towards Ahnika. Little brother to Kaden.
Kaden Anthony Jaymes:
Age: 19
Height: 5’9
Hair: Auburn
Eyes: greenish blue
Personal Profile: his presence makes Ahnika feel awkwardly terrified, like there is something dangerous about him. His eyes hold thousands of secrets as well as his mysterious ability to sense everything about her.
Bethany Carmichael:
Age: 17
Height: 5’4
Hair: dark brown
Eyes: green
Personal Profile: Only communicates with her brothers. Very pushy and overbearing. Spoiled. Bitchy. Extremely athletic and driven. Ahnika’s oddly identical worst nightmare.
Conner Carmichael:
Age: 19
Height: 6’0
Hair: Dark brown
Eyes: green
Personal Profile: brother to Bethany, very kind, almost completely opposite of Bethany but very protective.
Aiden Carmichael:
Age: 21
Height: 6’2
Hair: dark brown
Eyes: green
Personal Profile: Silent, strong, very protective of little sister Bethany.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
240th Avenue: Caryville, Wisconsin (my report)
ok, so the following is my research paper i'm spose to turn in on thursday, and i just want to know if it sounds good or not...it's about my adventures with Anthony during our brief relationship. though it ended quite horridly, the time spent together ment the worl to me and i will charish the memories for the rest of my life. i still feel the twinge of pain everytime something reminds me of him or my mind strays to his face, but i'm hoping i will soon forget the pain and only remember my dear, happiest memories.
enough about that though, here goes:
240th Avenue:
Caryville, Wisconsin
Erin M. Gebert
Written Communication
Earl Akey
July 24, 2008
Most People, when asked about it, have never heard of Caryville, WI. Why would they? What reason would they have to ever need to know the name of this tiny unincorporated town? Caryville may be unincorporated, but it holds bigger things than you can imagine. Located just south of Eau Claire, this town—consisting of a drug store, a bar, and a few farm houses—holds more secrets than any other place I’ve been to or heard of, dark secrets. The extent of it being named ‘Wisconsin’s Most Haunted’ is not untrue; I’ve been there. In the following pages, you will read not only my experience in this town, but many others’ experiences there.
Just imagine a warm night in the middle of June. It’s humid and the clouds are beginning to cover the moon and the stars. Only the breaks in the clouds give the full moon a chance to light up your surroundings as you drive west on Highway 29, heading into Eau Claire. Taking exit 75A, you begin to head south on 53, the city lights now enlightening the cloudy sky that threatens to rain down on you. You take another exit, number 87; you are now heading west on Hwy. 12—Clairemont Avenue. Another left and your are southbound on 37, heading back into the darkness of the country on a stormy night. Lightening begins to crack in the distance, lighting the farmlands on either side of you. Finally you take your last turn, a right onto 85. The rain begins to fall and your windshield wipers can go fast enough, so you stop in the nearest town to wait out the storm. Welcome to Caryville.
Now that you are here, let me tell you a little bit about this place. There are some stories—legends if you will—you should know about before you decide to stay here. I will start with the “safest” first. Taking County Hwy. H (the one you passes about 2 miles back), will put you on your way to our first haunted location here. After crossing the Chippewa River, the first road you come to sprouts off to the left. Its proper name is 240th Avenue but locals will call this Caryville Road. The road is more like a trail, barely big enough to fit one car on it but it gets worse, winding through the empty open farm lands. The road breaks off for a little while when you come to the next intersection, a T. You should be able to see it now, the twin buildings to your right. Go towards them; take that right onto 930th avenue. On the left side of the road stands the big white church, and on the right mimics a small school house.
The Caryville School House, also known as Spring Brook School. It shouldn’t be scary, this tiny, one-roomed school house, but you can feel the chills pulsing through your spine. Something in your better senses tells you to turn around and go back, but your curiosity gets the better of you, you turn into the small gravel lot in front of this not so intimidating building. The clock on your dash reads 11:28. The police don’t usually start patrolling this area until at least mid-night so you have some time to explore. Go ahead, go in and take a look around. The hairs on the back of your neck should be standing on end right about now. The light draft in the entryway feels like a cool breath blowing on the back of your neck. It shouldn’t be cold in here, you think to yourself, it’s so hot outside. The doorways on either side should take you into the main room, so pick one. Both will lead you to the same fate, but don’t look up. The belfry is just above you, and the visual is unpredictable. So don’t stop here, you’ve come so far.
Inside the main room, rows of desks fill the majority of the room but if you think you are hearing music, it is not all in your head. In the corner on your right stands an ancient piano and the legend will tell you to get out of there, for the little boy who died in the one of the desks beside you, haunts this room and he likes to abuse his visitors as his father did to him. He’ll make you freeze to death, giving you the same death sentence that was forced upon him. Another version of this story takes you down a slightly different path. Some of the stories say the preacher is the one who committed the awful crime. Legend has it that it wasn’t just 7-year-old, David James Grohn’s life that was taken. It was all of the children. After killing all of the students, the preacher took his own life and hung himself in the belfry, punishing himself for what he had done. As you walk back to your car you get the feeling that someone, or something is watching you, following you, standing just behind you. As you turn slowly to take one last look at that retched building, lightening flashes in the sky and in that instant, you see the noose still swaying from the belfry in the breeze of the oncoming storm. The worst of it is still to come, though the rain has stopped for the time being.
Heading back towards the intersection you had just come from, you’ll see a new road, 230th avenue. It only goes one direction, to your right, so follow it. The road curves to the right and suddenly there is ninety degree turn. You are now on 240th avenue once again, the continuing section of it. Coming over a small hill the rain begins to fall again, and as you are messing with your windshield wipers, every light on your car dims for a second. Looking up you see a frightened 3 legged black cat. The cat stays near the haunted area to protect. Some say he is a figment of your imagination and he is protecting this precious abundance of the spiritual world. Others say he’s trying to protect you from the worst of it, the hell hounds of Meridean.
Meridean, another small town located on County Hwy. O just past Caryville, is not just a town; it’s the name of the island just off of the boat landing on 240th avenue. Several legends hold the answer to how the island got its name. The only thing in common with each version is the girl whose name was Mary Dean. The most famous of legends states that a young Mary Dean was traveling by steamboat with her mother. The beautiful youth became ill, died, and was buried on the island. In an attempt to commemorate her, they named the island Meridean.
The story takes a turn for the worse after her burial. Three ferries mysteriously disappeared in the area, resulting in the ferry crossing being closed. Several years down the road, a sanatorium was constructed on the island. Though in reality it was a part of St. Josephs Hospital and was run by nuns, the legend states that a single doctor ran the sanatorium and owned many vicious pit-bulls. The bit-bulls killed the doctor’s only child and in return he killed and buried them on the island along with the said youth, sprouting the legends of the carnivorous hellhounds. The sanatorium was later torn down and moved closer to the Highway.
With this newfound knowledge, how do you feel as you pull up to our next attraction? A sharp U-bend, some miles down the road brings you right to the edge of the Chippewa River. The road (looking more and more like a rutted up four-wheeling trail) is widened here, stretching down to the shoreline; just big enough to pull a boat around and back it into the river.
In the dark you can’t see it, but another flash of lightening will give you a brief view of the island that is within swimming distance, for humans and dogs. I would recommend you stay in your vehicle this time; it will stall the hellhounds, though I doubt it will keep them for long. If you crack your window just enough to hear the sounds of the thunder, you will hear I slightly more menacing sound; the devilish screaming that no investigator has ever pinpointed to be coming from any known animals. If the school house didn’t make you think twice, I’d hope this place is making you reconsider going on, but there is no point in stopping yet, we’ve only got a mile left of the road, how much scarier can it get?
Sand Hill Cemetery is the proper name of Caryville’s old cemetery, and it is just that. Go just a little farther, just past the boat landing. The road becomes rugged and invisible under the overgrowth. It is more a tractor trail along the side of a field than a road, but I assure you it is recorded as a road on the map. The steep hill allows you only to go on during the summer months, with snow and ice it is impassable. You may pass the entrance to this children’s cemetery a time or two before you finally find it. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT pull your car all the way into the drive, for the headstones of this hidden cemetery in a field have all been smashed and overgrown by the erosion of Earth. You may get out if you please, but I recommend you keep your headlights shining on brights, just an FYI. From the time you place one foot on the ground you will feel the entity that has stuck with you from the beginning at the school house. It follows you and watches you and hangs on you like an attached tour guide, even when you get out of the car. Over the sound of the pelting rain and the thunder, innocent giggles and childish voices float over the hills and to your ears. They whisper your name and mess with your head, playing their invisible games. They have no adult supervision and no deadline, just eternity to play and frolic in their endless childhood. The scattered headstones of this field hold only the lifeless decayed bodies of illness stricken children from the late 1800’s to the early 1900’s; some only moths old, others just beginning their teenage years.
I remind you the boat landing is less than I mile back and the hellhounds are quick to come so do not linger here, for the old man that haunts is home back in the woods will tell you himself of the awful fate his wife encountered. He will eternally protect visitors to the unknown area from the most feared, the two headed hellhound that leads the pack. And you will meet his army truck with blinding headlights when you leave this place, but he will only follow you to the end of this hellish road you just so happened to travel on this fateful night. He will not harm you in anyway just tailgate until you are gone.
When you finally turn off of 240th avenue at the T, my mission is now complete. And the storm has finally passed. You are free to travel the cleared roadway to your original destination, but with a more knowledgeable sense. Your friendly follower has left you back in the cemetery where he will continue to come along for the ride with all visitors and live the repetitive experience, over and over, as that is the after life the so creatively named ‘blacky’ has been damned to.
Looking at the clock on your dashboard will reveal that time travel exists for few moments that you stayed at each location, has in reality taken hours for you to explore. The sun is lighting the horizon to a new day, but your memory of the experience will forever be permanently imprinted in your head, so as to remind you in full detail, if you should ever forget, the shivers, the fear, or the adrenaline rush.
enough about that though, here goes:
240th Avenue:
Caryville, Wisconsin
Erin M. Gebert
Written Communication
Earl Akey
July 24, 2008
Most People, when asked about it, have never heard of Caryville, WI. Why would they? What reason would they have to ever need to know the name of this tiny unincorporated town? Caryville may be unincorporated, but it holds bigger things than you can imagine. Located just south of Eau Claire, this town—consisting of a drug store, a bar, and a few farm houses—holds more secrets than any other place I’ve been to or heard of, dark secrets. The extent of it being named ‘Wisconsin’s Most Haunted’ is not untrue; I’ve been there. In the following pages, you will read not only my experience in this town, but many others’ experiences there.
Just imagine a warm night in the middle of June. It’s humid and the clouds are beginning to cover the moon and the stars. Only the breaks in the clouds give the full moon a chance to light up your surroundings as you drive west on Highway 29, heading into Eau Claire. Taking exit 75A, you begin to head south on 53, the city lights now enlightening the cloudy sky that threatens to rain down on you. You take another exit, number 87; you are now heading west on Hwy. 12—Clairemont Avenue. Another left and your are southbound on 37, heading back into the darkness of the country on a stormy night. Lightening begins to crack in the distance, lighting the farmlands on either side of you. Finally you take your last turn, a right onto 85. The rain begins to fall and your windshield wipers can go fast enough, so you stop in the nearest town to wait out the storm. Welcome to Caryville.
Now that you are here, let me tell you a little bit about this place. There are some stories—legends if you will—you should know about before you decide to stay here. I will start with the “safest” first. Taking County Hwy. H (the one you passes about 2 miles back), will put you on your way to our first haunted location here. After crossing the Chippewa River, the first road you come to sprouts off to the left. Its proper name is 240th Avenue but locals will call this Caryville Road. The road is more like a trail, barely big enough to fit one car on it but it gets worse, winding through the empty open farm lands. The road breaks off for a little while when you come to the next intersection, a T. You should be able to see it now, the twin buildings to your right. Go towards them; take that right onto 930th avenue. On the left side of the road stands the big white church, and on the right mimics a small school house.
The Caryville School House, also known as Spring Brook School. It shouldn’t be scary, this tiny, one-roomed school house, but you can feel the chills pulsing through your spine. Something in your better senses tells you to turn around and go back, but your curiosity gets the better of you, you turn into the small gravel lot in front of this not so intimidating building. The clock on your dash reads 11:28. The police don’t usually start patrolling this area until at least mid-night so you have some time to explore. Go ahead, go in and take a look around. The hairs on the back of your neck should be standing on end right about now. The light draft in the entryway feels like a cool breath blowing on the back of your neck. It shouldn’t be cold in here, you think to yourself, it’s so hot outside. The doorways on either side should take you into the main room, so pick one. Both will lead you to the same fate, but don’t look up. The belfry is just above you, and the visual is unpredictable. So don’t stop here, you’ve come so far.
Inside the main room, rows of desks fill the majority of the room but if you think you are hearing music, it is not all in your head. In the corner on your right stands an ancient piano and the legend will tell you to get out of there, for the little boy who died in the one of the desks beside you, haunts this room and he likes to abuse his visitors as his father did to him. He’ll make you freeze to death, giving you the same death sentence that was forced upon him. Another version of this story takes you down a slightly different path. Some of the stories say the preacher is the one who committed the awful crime. Legend has it that it wasn’t just 7-year-old, David James Grohn’s life that was taken. It was all of the children. After killing all of the students, the preacher took his own life and hung himself in the belfry, punishing himself for what he had done. As you walk back to your car you get the feeling that someone, or something is watching you, following you, standing just behind you. As you turn slowly to take one last look at that retched building, lightening flashes in the sky and in that instant, you see the noose still swaying from the belfry in the breeze of the oncoming storm. The worst of it is still to come, though the rain has stopped for the time being.
Heading back towards the intersection you had just come from, you’ll see a new road, 230th avenue. It only goes one direction, to your right, so follow it. The road curves to the right and suddenly there is ninety degree turn. You are now on 240th avenue once again, the continuing section of it. Coming over a small hill the rain begins to fall again, and as you are messing with your windshield wipers, every light on your car dims for a second. Looking up you see a frightened 3 legged black cat. The cat stays near the haunted area to protect. Some say he is a figment of your imagination and he is protecting this precious abundance of the spiritual world. Others say he’s trying to protect you from the worst of it, the hell hounds of Meridean.
Meridean, another small town located on County Hwy. O just past Caryville, is not just a town; it’s the name of the island just off of the boat landing on 240th avenue. Several legends hold the answer to how the island got its name. The only thing in common with each version is the girl whose name was Mary Dean. The most famous of legends states that a young Mary Dean was traveling by steamboat with her mother. The beautiful youth became ill, died, and was buried on the island. In an attempt to commemorate her, they named the island Meridean.
The story takes a turn for the worse after her burial. Three ferries mysteriously disappeared in the area, resulting in the ferry crossing being closed. Several years down the road, a sanatorium was constructed on the island. Though in reality it was a part of St. Josephs Hospital and was run by nuns, the legend states that a single doctor ran the sanatorium and owned many vicious pit-bulls. The bit-bulls killed the doctor’s only child and in return he killed and buried them on the island along with the said youth, sprouting the legends of the carnivorous hellhounds. The sanatorium was later torn down and moved closer to the Highway.
With this newfound knowledge, how do you feel as you pull up to our next attraction? A sharp U-bend, some miles down the road brings you right to the edge of the Chippewa River. The road (looking more and more like a rutted up four-wheeling trail) is widened here, stretching down to the shoreline; just big enough to pull a boat around and back it into the river.
In the dark you can’t see it, but another flash of lightening will give you a brief view of the island that is within swimming distance, for humans and dogs. I would recommend you stay in your vehicle this time; it will stall the hellhounds, though I doubt it will keep them for long. If you crack your window just enough to hear the sounds of the thunder, you will hear I slightly more menacing sound; the devilish screaming that no investigator has ever pinpointed to be coming from any known animals. If the school house didn’t make you think twice, I’d hope this place is making you reconsider going on, but there is no point in stopping yet, we’ve only got a mile left of the road, how much scarier can it get?
Sand Hill Cemetery is the proper name of Caryville’s old cemetery, and it is just that. Go just a little farther, just past the boat landing. The road becomes rugged and invisible under the overgrowth. It is more a tractor trail along the side of a field than a road, but I assure you it is recorded as a road on the map. The steep hill allows you only to go on during the summer months, with snow and ice it is impassable. You may pass the entrance to this children’s cemetery a time or two before you finally find it. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT pull your car all the way into the drive, for the headstones of this hidden cemetery in a field have all been smashed and overgrown by the erosion of Earth. You may get out if you please, but I recommend you keep your headlights shining on brights, just an FYI. From the time you place one foot on the ground you will feel the entity that has stuck with you from the beginning at the school house. It follows you and watches you and hangs on you like an attached tour guide, even when you get out of the car. Over the sound of the pelting rain and the thunder, innocent giggles and childish voices float over the hills and to your ears. They whisper your name and mess with your head, playing their invisible games. They have no adult supervision and no deadline, just eternity to play and frolic in their endless childhood. The scattered headstones of this field hold only the lifeless decayed bodies of illness stricken children from the late 1800’s to the early 1900’s; some only moths old, others just beginning their teenage years.
I remind you the boat landing is less than I mile back and the hellhounds are quick to come so do not linger here, for the old man that haunts is home back in the woods will tell you himself of the awful fate his wife encountered. He will eternally protect visitors to the unknown area from the most feared, the two headed hellhound that leads the pack. And you will meet his army truck with blinding headlights when you leave this place, but he will only follow you to the end of this hellish road you just so happened to travel on this fateful night. He will not harm you in anyway just tailgate until you are gone.
When you finally turn off of 240th avenue at the T, my mission is now complete. And the storm has finally passed. You are free to travel the cleared roadway to your original destination, but with a more knowledgeable sense. Your friendly follower has left you back in the cemetery where he will continue to come along for the ride with all visitors and live the repetitive experience, over and over, as that is the after life the so creatively named ‘blacky’ has been damned to.
Looking at the clock on your dashboard will reveal that time travel exists for few moments that you stayed at each location, has in reality taken hours for you to explore. The sun is lighting the horizon to a new day, but your memory of the experience will forever be permanently imprinted in your head, so as to remind you in full detail, if you should ever forget, the shivers, the fear, or the adrenaline rush.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
rantings of a pixie
wow, so i'm REALLY popular on here...so, anyway, i have no idea how i'm going to pay for school, THIS TOTALLY SUCKS!!! and on top of it, my boyfriend is a friggen.....eh, er....mm.......whack job who i doubt could give two cents about me cuz all he talks (like texting and calling) to are supposedly his friends (that just happen to be really pretty girls) who he claims have been his 'REALLY good friends for a REALLY long time', uh! THATS A LOAD OF BULL!! i'm so sick of it and i told him i don't give a crap anymore and he's the one who should be feeling like shit, not me cuz I'M not the one doing it, at least I don't tell my 'really good guy friends'..."i really need to see you." WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!!! GOD!! (sorry please forgive me for saying that name in vein) ......whatever..............................................
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Intro to a Pixie
I'm a writer so i basically plan on using this to post stories and updates and things on it. i'm pretty excited about it. i tried to do this on a site called quizilla, but it didn't work out so well because so many people knew me and knew where to find me, so i stopped writing because i was embarassed. anyway, here goes everything...
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