This is strictly HYPOTHETICAL, kind of...

So um, there's this girl I know, let's call her Erica...um she works at a hotel at night...lol anyway, so last night, she told me, there was this really smokin HOT 24 year old guy and he was totally hitting on her at work, anyway um, so he sat up with her all night and they ended up making out in the sauna, lol and stuff...

Anyway he was really sweet and said he'd like to see her again, so the next morning after her shift she went to his room and she fell asleep for a while listening to him whisper how beautiful she was and he played with her hair and rubbed her back and he's pretty much everything she was looking for, too bad he doesn't live near hear and they'll probably never see each other again... He was so god damn sweet...and really REALLY cute!!
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU (RE-POST)

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell You which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, hang up.

It doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. But Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons. You'll just mess it up.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

(Well, my job is done . Your turn)

Mental Hospital Menu

A loving message my sister sent me today, I love how she shows she cares...

Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

---

From: "Megan"<mkanderson@myway.com>
Date: Thu, 14 Aug 2008 13:43:13 -0400 (EDT)
To: <sarahjean15@hotmail.com>; <r_k_laher@hotmail.com>; <deidreametz@hotmail.com>; <emgebert89@msn.com>; <cjaw5456@yahoo.com>; <DTrull@bcbe.org>
Subject: FW: Mental Hospital Menu

---

No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.
Make My Way your home on the Web - http://www.myway.com

Smoke break

Ok, I'm on a smoke break, just had a nice hour long nap at the front desk till some drunk guy woke me up. He was pretty nice though. He kept picking on me for sleeping on the job, haha! He was telling me how different it is up here, like how he can walk around town with a beer in his hand and cops just wave at him, lol, that's Wisconsin for you.

Well I'm going back to sleep for another half hour...later!

-the pixie
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

At work...

I'm at work right now, just got here so it's almost midnight, so I figured I'd do a little blogging. My day was kind of boring, woke up around 10 and sat on the computer for a while, writing. I started yet another story, it's untitled so far, but it's about a girl who sets out on a mission to find the perfect man based on a book she read. Sounds a lot like my life, cuz it is my life. Anyway, I just started it so I haven't got around to the actual story yet, just explaining things I guess, the current situation basically, and how she got this far. I went up to town and got my address changed finally, anthony called and said our cell bill is over due, cuz the nim wad never checks the mail at our old apartment, like I'm going to, I already moved out, it's his things that are still there...

He also informed me that our bill was 240, and then I went and figured out why! They have been charging is for 3 lines instead of 2 and he bought like 30 dollars worth of ring tones, what a butt! And HE chews MY butt for buying things on the internet, I didn't buy anything. My mom says I should cancel the phone and go back on dads so I don't have to deal with his shit anymore, that doesn't sound half bad right now. So school is less than a week away and I still didn't go school shopping. Great. I don't really have money to go school shopping...I was going to sell my washer and dryer, but no one needs them.

I guess I've drawled on about my stupid day for long enough.

-the pixie
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

Suggestion

So there's a book I read a few times, I own the series, and in the book one of the character's blogs a lot, and I actually found his "blog" on here. It's fake of course but it if pretty funny to read if you know what's going on... The addy is:

Maximumride.blogspot.com

Check it...

The pixie
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

So many new things

Well if you haven't checked out my my space, you are clueless to the 3 new additions to my family whose names happen to be:

Nollie
Punky
Gizmo

They are the new kittens my mother and sister have me yesterday, the pictures are posted on my space, if you are curious and if you don't know my my space, maybe you shouldn't be looking in the first place.

Nollie is a tiny white kitty with gray splotches all over, my nephews have creatively named him cowy haha!


Punky is actually short for the name my mother have him, pumpkin, and he is bright orange.

Gizmo is an adorably unique kitty the is a mixture of odd colors, white orange and gray, so it makes for some interesting hues. I named him souly on the fact that I thought the name was cute. I fell in love with him the moment I saw him! He is so gental and loving, but I feel pity for him, he's not quite all there, a little slow I guess is the term. But I don't care, it makes him all the more adorable and sweet!

Another thing I've received today is my residential design kit, a lovely goody bag of everything you need for drafting! I love it! It's making me all the more excited and terrified of school, with the consideration that I've been out for a year and severely messed up in high school.

My computer is going to be shipped on the 18th, ironically the first day of school, and should arrive by the following weekend, so I'm stoked about that also. If you'd like to check it out, possibly getting one yourself, they are fairly cheap and are designed for media editorials. Kind of like the PC version of a Mac. Go to dell.com and check out the studio 15 in spring green! I guarantee it is the coolest computer you could possibly own with the least amount of cash! My payments are only $30 a month with no financing for the first 6 months! Sa-weet!

Well I suppose that is all I have to say for now!

-always the pixie
Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

Sa-WEET!!!

ok, so i found out how to post new blogs from my phone, i'm pretty psyched about it i guess, it's taken me till now to figure that out haha...ok, well, i guess i'll be updating about my day a little more now that i can do that, and it only took seconds! i was on my dashboard, i pressed send, clicked view blog, and there it was, i was like holy man!! that's totally awesome! haha ok so i'm a dork, guess i'll be going now

Always the Pixie

SORRY

i got a little out of control back there, extreme depression is setting in about the break-up, i'm trying to fight it, but forgive me if i slip up every once and a while, i'm not perfect

Explanation...

IF YOU HAD NOT READ MY LAST POST, 'ALICE IN CHAINS' THEN PLEASE DO SO BEFORE YOU READ THIS POST AS THEY COINCIDE WITH EACHOTHER, AND THIS POST WILL MAKE NO SENSE IF YOU READ IT FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alice in Chains is the beginning of a dreadful story obviously written about a girl named alice. her story starts with the ending of her own life. some people may request an explanation as to how i came up with it and WHY i'm writing this morbid story. it's how i feel. i feel like if i were to trade lives with thsi girl, i'd rather take it then be where i am now. i had friends, and i gave them up, or lost them. i had a lover (almost husband) who meant the world to me and i lost him too. every thing that has ever mattered to me in life is gone and i can't seem to get it back and so i believe, for a girl to have never experienced those feelings, wouldn't know what kind of loss it really is and this physical pain she feels would be more managable than my mental/emotional pain. i was resently suicidal. i'll admitt it. but i've vowed to my ex-lover and a dear (only) friend who may possibly be the only one who will read this, that i would not do it again, trust me, i haven't. but i've held the blade there, i've scraped it lightly on my skin and felt the addiction, the pull of pure want to just dig it into my body as hard as i can. i've felt this, only seconds before i'm writing this explanation i've felt it, i still feel it and i don't think it will ever go away. i keep looking at that razor blade and will it to make the gash, i want it too, but that of course would be selfish. why take my own life when you and my mother want me to be here. of course i love the both of you dearly but i hate this life and i just thought i'd let you know what a waste i think it truly is. i serve no purpose, just as alli serves no purpose. the only reason i'm living is for others to hurt me and i hate it. i've been hiding this since the 18th when it all happened. i've been blocking it away and not showing anything out of hopes that you'd let it go, but i can't let it go and i realy realy truly hate myself right now, and all i've wanted for the past 3 months is for me to not be here anymore, to just be in an eternaly dark place where no one can hurt me anymore, and so i'll create my own illusion and i'll find my dark place inside my mind and so forgive me if i'm not the same person i was yesterday or last week or a year ago. i never really was that person. my life has always been this. and i'm sorry it has to be this way but it's fate and that's apparently all i'm here for, all i'm good for, so one last time, i'm sorry if when we meet next, i'm not that fake girl anymore that hides her tears and fakes a smile and pretends to be alright because i'm not, i'm just a worthless girl who is slowly trapping herself inside her dark place in her mind untill the real thing comes for her and makes her forever greatful for death.

Alice in Chains

there's a point in everyone's life when they come to terms with some form, a sense of reality. it just clicks, and you get it, like a light turning on in an eternally dark room. i think that point, for me, is now. i've come to terms with reality, my reality, my fate. maybe it was the chains and shackles and the ropes, binding me here for the past 2 months. the painful cramping of a starved stomach, the ichyness of a dry scratchy throat yerning for liquid, it all fits. this is how i will die. in this miserable state, i. will. die. and i'm ok with that, i mean i could have used some for of preperation, calling my parents for one because god knows they are more than likely the only ones that are even faintly worried about me at this point. to others i'm just a lost memory, already forgotten. so to who would it matter if my lifeless form showed up sometime in the near or late future? no one would care. at least that's what i think. no one cared before why should they care now. life my existance ment something to them. sure some might pretend to care, mourn and be sad, but it's just an act, it wont last long. maybe here and there if my name ever came up, which i'm sure it wont, they would express some form of sorrow and pity. they'd say 'poor alli, what a terrible loss' like it mattered to them if i would have lived or died. i think that's all there is in the pointless life. to pretend that you care. you pretend to life people and they serve there perpose, weather it be as a friend, a lover, a husband; but that's it, they serve there perpose to fill the tiny holes in your life and then you die, or they die and it's all over, the purpose is fulfilled, and the act is over. my act is comeing to a close as well and i believe that's where my whole story all begins.

so i guess to catch you up on things i could tell you a little about my situation, pure stupidity on my part i guess. 19 and in college, i needed to catch up on homework. unlike the previous rant of random people, there is no one in my life to serve any of those purposes. i never had friends or lovers and obviously not a husband, that requires dating first and i've never really gotten around to that. of course i stayed late in the library to study but with my lack of sleep, one of the many perks of being an insomniac, and a full day of work and school behind me, somewhere along the line i slipped into a harsh form of unconsiousness. at first i thought it merely a dream but when i awoke, i was in the same place my dream had left off. in my dream a band of three faceless men and scooped me up. one, the leader i suppose, was the one who had found me, he mumbled to the others to keep quiet and follow his command. the second was giddy what with his normal male hormones, was looking to fulfill one particular need, and the third had been whispering harshly to let me be. that voice was very familiar and i remember it well, i just never pin pointed where it came from. i assume the third man was cut from the band because i never saw him after that. towards the end of my dream, after having there way with me and beating me into a deeper unconsiousness, i watched from the outside, a corner of the room as they hauled me up a steep flight of stairs and left me on the floor to die. i should have known better than to think i would get out of this so easily because they tied my hands to an iron bed frame that lay upside down and without a mattress on the raw wooden surface of this ironicly morbid attick. and this brings us up to speed, this is where i've been, in this exact spot, since that dreadfull morning i awoke. i've begged and pleaded with the two men to let me go, i've sworn to secrecy of the occurences here and i've been beaten every single time i opened my mouth, so i learned not to speak. i've been silenced for a month and a half now. i've even begun to wonder if my voice would still work these days, but i don't dare and try it out. the walls and the floors and the ceilings here are paper thin and i can here every word they say and so it gives me good reason not to try and test out my lost voice. although harsh and hurtful and very very mean, these men have been kinder than need be. once a week they bring me a bottle of water and sandwich to keep me somewhat nurished, of course i know better. it's more like malnutrition, and you'd think it'd be easier for them to just LET me die, but for some unknown reason they dont and they make me live, forcing me to serve some unknown purpose in their retched lives.

My best girl's page...

Hey this is my friends blog, check it...

jamforthemoment.blogspot.com

just a song i wrote...

ok, so i went and talked with my ex and hung out with him for a little while today, and while i was on my way home, 4 words ran through my head and then kept repeating, so when i got home, i wrote this song, bet you can tell which 4 words ran through my head...

-Limitations Of a Boy-
Live for the moment,
take a chance.
Surrender your heart,
to have it bashed.

Fall in love and
fall behind.
pick the scab and
scar your life.

Fight this battle,
fix my scars.
Stand together,
hey! lets start!

Lie.
Cheat.
Take.
Break.

Lie to me,
it's an art.
Cheat on me,
you play that part.
Take whats mine and
break my heart.
Oh, the limitations of a boy.

Out of sight,
out of mind.
Cry at night,
it reminds.

Kick and scream,
beg and plead.
Waste of time,
cause it still bleeds.

Fight this battle,
one last time.
Stand to you,
and speak my mind.

Lie.
Cheat.
Take.
Break.

Lie to me,
it's an art.
Cheat on me,
you play that part.
Take whats mine and
break my heart.
Oh, the limitations of a boy.

I still remember,
everything you siad.
I will remember,
Everything you did. (to me)

Lie to me, (lie)
it's an art.Cheat on me, (cheat)
you play that that part.
Take whats mine.(take and break)
Break my heart.

Oh, lie to me, (lie)
it's an art.
You can cheat on me, (cheat)
you play that that part.
You took what was mine (take and break)
You broke my heart.
Oh, the limitations of a boy.
The limitations of a boy.